hedge and kitchen

tide turns again

2009-04-17T00:06:00.000-07:00

for months now I have been out of sync with the rest of the world. Both spiritually and secularly. So I decided to change my blog site's name from 315 pounds to Hedge and Kitchen. with that chore done I will go at it again. Texas to the south is rumbling and a grumbling with talk of secession going on. One wonders if the president were a different color would the merry banter about leaving the union even come to mind.

trick and treat

2008-10-31T13:09:00.000-07:00

well today is soon the beginning of samhain before coming to this site I saw a great story that two new Van Gogh have been found. they have been tested authenticity and frames were made by the same artist shop and the paint is the same mix as other pictures he has painted at that time. It is strange that at the begining of the yearly honoring of the dead one of the dead has gifted us with more beauty.

time turns on Celtic new year

2008-10-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

well samhain is coming and this year we will be at home to celebrate. for months now I HAVE been working on not being a reactionary bitch which for me mean no news and anything else that is interesting because I of course have an opinion on everything. So on this holiday I will continue stick my head in the proverbial hole in the ground.

apology

2008-05-10T06:50:00.000-07:00

I need to apologise for misspellings and grammatical errors on my web page I just learned on Truly-dippy quizzes that I bastardise the language and have to admit that I am sloppy in grammar and proof-reading well bb.

May Day

2008-05-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

Walpurgis night has past. Satan and his minions the hamsters were nowhere in sight not a nibble on my feet. I enjoyed the walpurgis nacht and the celebrations that went with it. I like the pagan religion because it is a joyful one and respectful of others no one preaches hate or anger at the ritual and festivals. it about the celebration of life and not one of telling the practioner how not to screw up. which is good because probably alot of Neo-pagan are what society would look down at and call screw-ups. If we are hateful and angry it is on our blogs and that is something that if a person does not want to see or read they can move ON . Well nothing much to talk about still recovering MERRY PART AND BLESSED BE.

beltaine

2008-04-29T01:00:00.000-07:00

Well an another holiday is coming up this last week was Sommerblot and this week circle will celebrate Beltaine. Sommerblot my husband and I celebrated quietly at home. Next saturday we will go to circle. I need to find a recipe for the pot luck to make a vegetarian and meat dishes. I am being inspired just by writing. I think that eggplant dish will be good and maybe a meat loaf and if I have enough money a cake. I like to cook for others instead of being a mover and shaker. WEll Happy Beltaine to all mp and bb.

needlepoint and the pope

2008-04-25T16:37:00.000-07:00

I have been avoiding the the news because it seemed stuck on the pope and the Little house on the Prairie Cult in texas. So I am woefully out of touch with the real world and that is fine with me. I spent my time watching forensic psychology shows. And now bored with that I have stooped to Showbiz Tonight. If it were not for Wire in the Blood, Monk and Profiler I would get rid of the sat.. But I have new glasses and I picked up my needlepoint again after winning 1st place in a creative arts festival. doing needlepoint goes quicker with background noise. Well Merry part and Blessed be.

abuse, forgiveness and rebellion

2008-04-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

There are really two ways that a person may react to abuse, especially someone recovering from it one that has occurred in childhood they may Identify with the abuser so much that all they want to hear are the empty platitudes that bureaucrats give to get out trouble and pacify the natives or they may reach the point were they decide to fight no matter what refuse to let go of their protective fighting spirit. In our world unfortunately mankind has been raised by society when it comes to authority and its misbehaviour to be forgiveness addicts. There are things that cannot be forgiven because the sociopath that did the misdeed will never comprehend the act and the forgivee is never able to rest because they will never be at peace that it will not happen again. People that are rogues work in silence and unless they are important to the powers that be they receive no protection. To be shuttled around and around to the target group that the victimizer enjoys hurting means that the authority is equally sociopathic in its desire to keep face. Kinda like the way the Japanese are trying to hide in some schools the fact that they bombed Pearl Harbour.

back to normal

2008-04-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well I am back to normal the drugs wore off and no fairies or shadow people hiding under the bed. the cold weather and my husbands surgery snapped me back into reality. The protesters trying to put out the Olympic flame gave me a great deal of pleasure and I hope that the Buddhist world-wide realize that westerners do care for them. Catching Jim Carrey speaking about Burma was great to he look incredibly nervous but sincere and brave. I read a book The Gift of inner Peace I bought in a bin at Barnes and Noble it was comforting and got back to my Buddhist half. I view my faith as shaped by Buddhism, yoga and Wicca. But Wiccan I stay as long as it is an oppressed minority. I guess in this life that is my path to walk a line between east and west as my genetic code is. mp bb

unsettling disturbia

2008-03-30T20:04:00.000-07:00

I SAW MY FIRST SHADOW PRESON A FEW WEEKS AGO. AFTER I HAD EMERGENCY SURGERY. i NEVER REALLY BELIEVED THEY existed and thought that people who saw them were panicked or hysterics. But I was calm and smoking a cigarette on my porch<> near death just made me want to smoke and eat more as though my addictions figured out that I was not immortal. but that happens every time I am facing death from various botched surgeries at the VA. Well the shadow startled me but I stood my ground as the being was across the street and when it left I Hightailed it up to my ritual room/ meditation room. then I felt bone chilling fear. But I figure they are a force of nature and if they ignored me then I will do the same with them.

in memorian

2008-03-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well tragedy hit after circle this weekend when we returned home and our tuxedo cat Loki was dead in the road. My husband took it badly, very badly poor man. He buried him near our driveway because Loki loved stretch out and sun himself on it or on top of the van. I put a huge clay pot we have on top of it and I am going to plant forget- me- nots in it. Also stencil his name and the date of his crossing over. He was a good cat.

There is something that always causes the intellectual side of me to become infantilized when tragedy strikes especially when there has been months of hardship going on. I begin to wonder if I am cursed and I get stupidly superstious or I start to lose faith in my Goddess, or I wonder if I have offended the gods in anyway. When reason comes back I realise that this is Loki's karma playing out or maybe all the hardship and tragedy is bleep on a universal energy grid and instead of another family biting the bullet it is my little family doing so.

His picture is fuzzy because I could never catch him sitting still.

old reverberrations

2008-03-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

in uganda a poor man had his house burned down because his neighbor's children accused him of being a witch. the neighbors were evangelicals and the man was a local herbalist...before going on and on about the evils of fundies and missionary work. I need to stop and say that I know the children are the cause of this. Just like the girls were guilty in Salem. But they were the first part of the crime. With the children it most probably started as an innocent lie. I was hanging around so and so Mr. Witches house because he impelled me to instead of I was curious. The poor man is in police custody but it sounds as though it is for protection than to prosecute for a crime I have seen many children drawn to good and bad simply because a parent believed with a stout heart and closed mind that it was bad for their child. Right now in the heartland at Waldenbooks there is no New Age or Metaphysical section, Barnes and Nobles is much smaller and not publishing pagan books, and borders section is smaller also. It seems as though christian literature and manga are pushing pagan themed and studies books out of these stores. It might be a small trend that will go away but if not I will have lost a good place to pick up a book without travelling to another town were the metaphysical store is.

tragedy in texas

2008-03-03T06:38:00.000-08:00

In east texas a family died and the daughter is being blamed. It seems as though many news stories jump on the bad wagon of a quick suspect usually someone not liked in the small town. This famly was new to this town and not much is known of a previous life in another location and any enemies accured in another local...I am afraid that this will be a case of the locals not liking the teenage daughter and her group of friends...and the police happy with that quick resalution of the matter.

magical day

2008-03-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

well I return to the net after illness for many months ending with emergency surgery with a surgeon performing it that looked old enough to be going to the High School prom this year. I did not ask her how many surgeries she had done before mine as she looked and acted so jazzed at the fact that I was so easily dealt with and out the hospital in 3 days. my poor husaband on the other hand is maniacally playing warcraft and working out to get rid of the tension of his fears.

It has four weeks since the surgery I am so happy to be back getting the house in order and planting potted plants inside. I do not want to sound crazy but I swear that a dusk a ball of light 4inches round showed up in my second story window where the new pots had been planted it pulsed with energy. I think that the plants were blessed by the fey and this year it will be an easier year for the plants, the house and our family, me, my husband and the menagerie.

that happened three days ago and today another magickal event I found 3 nickels on my altar wondering what being gave the gift. For I have just learned that saving pennies is more important than quarters because gnomes value copper more than silver....If this sounds like oxygen depredation during surgery it is not it is I believe an intro into the true world of magick and Why do I belive because I went to the mall with the 3 nickels in my pocket As I was going down the escalator in front of me teenagers where throwing coins into a fountain below us> I threw at the foutain and the nickel landed at the hand of a boy kneeling next to the fountain. It was a miracle for me because I had lost hope in these months and by keeping faith in my wicca and my buddhism I have granted a look into a magckal world I wish to be a part of .

the path I decide is unorthodox but I am happy to know that I choose this path and the netherworld is happy with it.

MANTRA MADNESS

2007-08-28T07:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in one life one must try to change the course of energy flowing around one..One can spend one's life fighting the current and living the spiritual and emotional life of a salmon going up river, exciting but emotionally draining.. or go with the flow..In the past weeks as I as was volunteering I met personable people that seemed nice a friendly and people that you would like to hang with..But for some reason that veneer of hearty friendliness disappears when you tell them you are a Buddhist forget about telling them you are pagan..I have used the Buddhist dodge to get out of church invitations..But this time I used the unitarian clause and that did not help It seems many people do not view them a christians. Of course I got pinned down until I said jesus could be savior and lord and I was let go of the verbal headlock that I was in..obviously they missed the word could..But since you are a opinionated sow why did you not just rip their theology apart Sonia???one reason only these people were related to business associates and that left one open to a try at forced indoctrination..But Sonia is that not a overeaction to the event, no when a person doesnot wish to talk about religion and you force it on them it is a try at indoctrination and also to hear themselves talk about god and go on and on kissing divine butt. I do not convert people because I believe everyone needs to learn at their rate. The pagan path is so unpopular to the mainstream monotheists that I really do not find converting people to paganism a kind act especially to young people...To become Wicca or pagani means to lose one place in the real world and to be open to nastiness by ignorant Monotheists and from were I am sitting there are a lot of them skulking in the bushes with the other boogeymen of society. But more enlightened people say that there are enlightened christians, I wonder how enlightened they would be if they were around a Pagani in a crisis of faith would the gloves be on or off. but I have decided having look through my portable book of shadows and finding a Mantra in sankrit that I will be concertrating on to tap into the vibration of universal friendship. I figure it will either change me or the tenor of the people around me... of course if it changed me I would have to give up bitching about christians and other monotheistic patriarchal religions and become part of the silent majority that allows them to behave inconscionably. the mantra is OM MITRAYA NAMAHA.

Ah Harry we thought we knew you well

2007-08-27T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well Harry the supposed rebel the Pied Piper leading scores of children to Hell is now known to be Christian..Why so because a quote on a headstone and a Mother's sacrifice? Suddenly Harry is so christian because his mother sacrfices her life for him..Harry is Christian, sorry kids, no help in subverting the world order from him..There are other aspects of the story that have a christian flavor..But this self-congratulatory belief that only chirstians can and want to sacrifice for love shows the superior attitude they have when judging themselves before others...There are many a story amongst many religious folk of sacrfice love, undying loyalty these are not strictly christian traits that they have a monopoly on. My Husband once explaining to a Korean couple his beliefs system and what is expect of him in his daily relationship with people..Needed to keep reiterating that he is pagan Odinist as the couple kept telling him He was christian in his beliefs. I guess what my complaint is that there is a great deal of self-congratulatory pats on the back when christians explain their philosophy and belief system to others, and among their naive a great deal of credulousness when they learn yes pagan gave gifts..Yes yellow people believe in heaven and can be moral..My personal observation from childhood is that my Buddhist family member had a greater degree of personal humility than my christian relations. About ancient Pagan Philosophy and religion not much is known and there is a reason for this as in 5th, 6th and 7th century a concerted effort was made to destroy competing religious and Philosophical thought with the state religion. Another reason If you burn the works of all the writers you plagiarized then You take over the idea lock, stock and barrel. Ovid was not the only Pagan writer to complain about the plagiarizing of popular pagan work by Early Christian writers it seems to be a common complaint of writers of the era. All we have left is some pagan philosophers works maybe only been saved because an Abbot like the work. with the coming of state religion came the loss of secular education and with it scientific inquiry. Many works were lost most of the male philosophers work and all of the female philosophers work were lost and yes there were female philosophers all that is left of them is Sappho and I doubt the if she was not a poetic genuis with the big plus of appealing to men's girl on girl action fantasies she would have gone the way of the ancient female writers consign to some long distant bonfire. I sometimes get an Buddhist Idea that I should stop bashing the followers of jesus and then they write something or say something so unconsciously arrogant, but look at you with hurt eyes when you call them on it ...Because the assumption that they are superior simply because they have the joy of knowing christ so ingrained and it is found in their liberals that so-called natural superiority that their religion is the light. I am of the belief that liberal christians are the minority..Oh maybe not on the left coast but everywhere else they are. I am a great believer in learning from the past and taking people on their word..The last devout christian I talked to would not leave me alone until I said I believe that christ could be Lord and saviour luckily they did not hear could and this in a work setting..I hear there is supposedly a liberal bunch of them I personally have never met any of them that would personally take down one of their own verbally when they are harrasing a person politely.. The last one who did in front of me was me, I was protecting a jew and a buddhist but then I am no longer a liberal christian because they are not the people running the religion and I sadly do not believe that christ existed I believe he is a dream within a dream within an illusion so mercurial that no one will ever know his reality. merrie part from the hinterlands...

ode to uncertainty

2007-08-24T01:19:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the christian faith and I learned growing up that the worst thing I could have was doubt( the explantion was that it usually had a satanic origin). I was taught that the greatest gift was faith and the best faith to have was absolutist faith..Since I was a very skeptical child I had to hear ad nauseum stories of faith, proverbs about faith, pray innumerous prayers for faith.. None of this worked because I could never understand Why none of the miracles of the past can be recreated today by devoted saint-like persons and also why people who talk to jesus nowdays are placed in mental health facilities and sedated..Treatment that as a child I grew to believe would have help ancient humankind a great deal if it was used on various prophets because many of them seemed to need a good dose of thorazine, especially when they went on and on about women. I am in my forties, now I truely believe that the greatest gift that the universe can give a person is doubt..Doubt is at the beginning of every scientific quest and every philosophical endeavour, without it we would still be in the dark ages thinking fish were created by water. I pray that in every life I have in the future I have doubt and Disillusion for instead of being negative in life they are the whips that spur one to learn and discover..It has always been doubt that caused me to go the library and learn if something is true..I do not nowdays trust anyone who tells me not to doubt to have faith in things, my body, mind and spirit say are not so. I especially do not and will never trust anyone who says to me "Let me have faith for you" what they are saying is "I will do your thinking for you, Liebchen"..I think that phrase is the spookiest I ever heard from a Monotheist. It makes me still shudder and recoil mentally. When I was small I was a devout girl, one is always a true believer before evolving into a skeptic, but modern religion has a huckster quality around it, that I found at odds with The Ideals of spirituality. As a young person I came to believe that the maintream religion had 1600 plus year to change the world and it seemed they still needed to convert every body instead of changing the behauviour of their parishioners which was scandalous most of the time. After going to college and studying socio-paradigms I came to the socialist view that religion is a construct to control the masses and allow the powerful to stay in power..ONe only needs to look at the pope who is more concerned with destroying the power of disobediant catholic politicians than having poor catholics vote for politicians that have their best interests at heart, a bit like muslims voting the way the iman wants them to. It is easy to see why people hate religion, It is really rarely Jesus that people hate. It is the political and social entities that sprang up around him that people are uncomfortable with..I had a friend who is christian ask me why people of my ilk do not trust christian institutions and the overly religious with power..I believe that the christian takeover of rome and the dark ages has alot to do with it..As well as the continued propganda tactics christian institutions and their apologists use..Dissembling, disinformation and distortion of facts that would make a communist propagandist mute from awe and envy. But to get back to doubt, certainty is the hobgoblin of creativity and doubt that is treated like a bastard child by faith is truely a virtue..I never heard any one say that their doubt is the greatest doubt on earth and turn around and kill scores of people to prove it true I have seen people of faith do that in stories of the past and in the present..So I view doubt as a blessing may more people be blessed with it.. merrie part from the hinterlands, blessed be.

to be home again

2007-08-16T03:21:00.000-07:00

to be home again in small ways and large can home be returned to after childhood gone and parental demise is that home or is it a illusion, a detention center of ones youth, the place that one spends ones life recovering from, the trenches is one forever to return to a past. that long ago is gone forever looking backward as though it is a cup of tea well drank and all is left but tea leaves that one would study and divine and in them find the answer of what did happen in that home amongst that past, is it the future we divine or is that past that we wish to exorcise and replace what answer will be found in black teas leaves from faraway land what answer will be found in past long ago times may be what is a home and where is it.

A strange Pieces of belief

2007-07-21T03:20:00.000-07:00

WEll I finished reading the book A strange Piece of Paradise and I want to buy it and re-read it for the deep insights of the writer..Having been a victim of criminal acts prepetrated on me as a child and an adult I could see and Identify with her quest..I just disagree with the need to believe that evil is born in some people and the need to see it as supernatural force in the criminals life..Most criminals are raised in mainstream religion..A good percentage in devout families their problem are not from not enough good religion but too much religion stagnating their younger lives causing rebellion..I believe if a person is born evil that they are not responsible for their actions..people choose to be a perpetrator 70% of the people sentenced to the state penn on a assortment of crimes never go back after they are released from prison..These people after being punished choose not to prey on people again, they learned their lesson..THe prison population has a great deal of religious people in those cells and all of them blame satan for their problems except that miraculous 70% that accept responsibility and learn from their mistakes...

There are people from good families that lack empathy and hurt things, animals and people because even good people can teach children that others do not matter whether it is the maid or the unsaved or those sluts that want to date my boys..A psychologically well family does not often produce a sociopath but alot of good families are not psychologically well..Just because the family, the parent are personable does not mean that their raising of a child is right..I now alot of personable people who make their daughter sign abstinence pledges and yet are secretly proud and relieved when their teenage son gets laid...These are not Psychologically well people. They are morally ambigious if a child of theirs understands that, these people a have raised a child that has internalized the belief of entitlement of one child and the other is simply less than..No matter how much praying the family and child does they are in a precarious ethical development of the childs belief system.

I think that every one can be saved that someday we will have treatment for violent people as we treat schizophrenia and depression..But first we must stop the worship violence and using it as gratuitous entertainment..Maybe instead of eight people being murdered in a movie, Maybe the death of one could be used as a catalyst for an expose on the morality and causes of violent behavior and stop saying THe devil made him do it..

Merrie part from the provinces.

the picture is a reminder that soon winter will come and all will be cool.

the hell w/it

2007-07-10T13:11:00.000-07:00

My partner is channel surfing as I blog and for a moment he touched on a channel with a show describing the SAtanist magic dabbling of some heavy metallist..Even as a teenager I could never really keep a straight face at the witnessing of the formerly demonic, that might be the reason I strayed from the 12-step fold, I always want to ask loudly,, What were you taking??..and how high were you?? I do not believe that one can be possesed by the Devil by reading Aleister Crowley...There are strick rules that supernatural entity has to follow, Possesion may only occur by the formal permission of said possesee.. Most people being exorcised need to really exercize their Goddess given freewill tell their nut-case religious-freakoziod family members to back off and get themselves to a psych ward.. THe popular and romantic myth of the possessed going for psychiatric help for years maybe decades and are then cured by the rite of exorcisism is bogus, bullshit...More often the family, nuttier than a fruitcake, cannot admit or allow themselves to comprehend the person under the supposed demon's spell is really Mentally ill, because it would explode all the family myths and delusions of normalcy...The only thing SAtanic in America is the way we treat the mentally ill..And that churches as an institution collude with giving people that need anti-psychotics bogus religious relief and conveniently sell ridiculous stories that could have been proved true...if only satan had not made the camcorder not work. Believe me If satan was real he would probably be egomaniacal enough to want himself on camera and on primetime..not Joe-blow the Schizophrenic being psycologically abused by clergy and family..DEvils and Demon have little power on this realm...whereas people do have the power to say yea or nay..

A tale of two blogs

2007-07-08T04:46:00.000-07:00

I have two blogs why I do not know..I had a vague reason that one I would vent my worst of times and in the other I would strive to work to uplift my spiritual side and be in denial and achieve spiritually numb state of my emotional, intellectual and reptile brain equivalent to being comfortably numb state in the Pink Floyd song. I have always thought that the buddhist state of equanimity was this comfortably numb state the way to nirvana was numbing relief of non engagement brought about by meditation induced endorphins..Something that narcotics and depressents give you after the euphoria and before the crush and the crash, the I do not give a Fuckedness feeling and attitude.. right now I am listening to the song as a teenager I believed that not feeling was the key that you had attain to achieve a state of divinity..It is one reason why charismatic religions scared me as a youth..And yet I now belong to a circle that loves drumming and ecstatic dancing.. and I like it because unlike the emotion brought on by the witnessing the guilt, the horror, the relief at redemption as a teenager I once felt it..Ecstatic dancing allows me to feel that moment before, feeling evolved, before thought, before consciousnes arises...The way we listened to Pink floyd while stoned there was a beauty as though the next deeper brain wave pattern would bring us face to face with God. In many ways Long distance running can bring that on the feeling. In fact I had almost ruined my right knee because I could not give up the need for speed it was not speed it was the feeling after the euphoria the fifteenth mile and the slide into the I do not give a Fuckedness... The recovery movement and the anti-drug czar keep dwelling on the horror of drug use(there are many) but are extremely reluctant to look at the fact that getting high is a experience that sometimes border on the most holy and high and all that from the skanky drug dealer on the corner. It is why we send addicts to pseudo-recovery programs that are simply revival meeting couched in psycho-babble hoping to repeat the connection to the divine achieved in the drug high. With the drug addicts and penitnent service may-be if they pray enough and meditate enough they will achieve addict equanimity the state of I Do NOt give a Fuckedness. May-be that is why they do not allow recovery addicts to have an opinion..To feel any outrage at social injustice..We all need to be smiling little emotionally repressed and guilted clones waiting for Hale Bop and the mothership. As a teenager and young adult when angry at parents and/or husband I would park on Pacific Highway above the SAnta Monica beach, and watch the tanker come in deliviering crude oil to the refineries further south, watch the container ships leave with american goods we manufactured things then in the USA, sometime a tramp steamer old and proud sail by of to the south seas may-be with the 70's version Jean Harlow hitching a ride. Ships and being numb sometimes were life's only proof that God exists and loves us. By trying to force spiritual experiences on people addicted to drugs physically and emotionally we do them a disservice and then always end up blaming the addict for their lack of recovery. When there really NEEDS TO BE to true concrete medical physical and psychological treatment for them..And maybe discover a physical activity that can help create a comfortably numb feeling.. Oh but that would take concerted indivividual treatment when it so cheaper and expedient to send the addict to a free 12-step meeting. merrie part from the hinterlands

Attitude of gratitude

2007-07-08T00:13:00.000-07:00

Well I think that I must find a few moments of gratitude..I thank the Goddess for my excursion in living in the bible belt with out it I would not have become a fearless pagan..I am thankful for my experience in the Marine corps without it I would not be a black-belt feminist(it broke me of the very feminine habit of being impressed by males)since that period of life I do not trust any orginization run by men..Especially an org. that says it has my welfare at heart. There is a reason why so many slang names for ineptitude orginate in the military amongst men they are masters at it. Which means that most thinking men are less impress with themselves and their achievements as a sex, than they would like natives(women and children) to know.

I love reading bigoted people trying to stick to the illusion of normal thought when pushing their chauvinism on others..Like ON Faith essay's on the need for pagan chaplains since, sorry fundies, there is a legitimate need for them..I am not one to tattle but I am a chauvinist when it comes to religion I prefer mine and with me it is My Goddesss mine, mine, mine. I cannot for the life of me want to contemplate any other way of worship..I also have an aversion to monotheistic religions may-hap in reaction to not being given a choice in what to believe as a youngster or may-be I read to many books on the forming of church philosophy and the influence of manicheasism and dualism on early church writing and thought..or may-be it was the relief after years of struggling with religion and athiesm and 12-step christianity being shoved down ones throat. I said I believe this and it does not include the Bible or Koran or a male god and garden of eden is bullshit..eve was framed...I realised I do not need to say I am sorry all the time because I am not part of the female cabal that caused to fall of man. They were uncoordinated enough to stumble on their own..

The old saying in vino veritas well in pagano veritas or whatever declination is valid. Life is hard but it can be enjoyed no one is going to zap you because you like ice cream or orgasms or what ever other small carnal pleasure that religion is hell bent on making everyone feel guilty about because guilt is a bigger money maker thay sex..There are whole holidays made from and drenched in guilt, mothers day and easter are two.

Well of being a Pagan lack of guilt about bodily functions and state of human grace or evil are a win, win. In a world that flaunt excess carnality and sexuality while demonizing it at the same time.

Familiarity and contempt

2007-07-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

I had thought I was a liberal until I was told that liberal are tolerant and I am a cranky old opionated sow.. I am not a tolerant person after being 12 steperized and buddhafied and even told to grow up and forgive Christ by a supposed secular threrapist I still like to hold on to my little hate and angers... I was not raised to be tolerant and for decades I believed that the quest to be nice was my Holy Grail in life..My maternal influences in life were slightly less right wing than the Nazi-party which is shocking since my mother married and had children (including Myself with an asian man). I was lucky as a child I noticed the discrepancy between personal behavior and religious and political belief..Unfortunatley my other siblings are still in the dark about this. I am lucky that today I am still intolerant but I have learned to be discerning in my pet hatreds..I try not to hold anger and intolerance to minorites under fire by the status quo and the majority...I learned if you attack then do so of abusers of power and not the weak.. There are many people of a spiritual bent that believe that one must blog nice and to rant and rave and sarcastically carrying on is polluting the feelgood bubble that surrounds the earth..Sorry if my mother"s beliefs such as in the validity of the holocaust and the tri-lateral commision and the Rothchilds were not ridiculed I would still believe in the Scions of Zion elders, russian crap..I grew up watching buddhists as half of the family tree were praticising buddhists. Sorry their counrties are rife with woman hatred and oppression of the lower classes..Being nice works only when you want to get someone off your back...Being nasty is sometimes the only way to get through to an hypocrite.. marrie part from the hinterlands.

golden compass

2007-06-29T16:48:00.000-07:00

well having kvetched about religion for a few blogs I want to say I am looking forward to see the Movie the Golden Compass a world in which ones daemon lives in the material world with one and works magic with one... A world dominated by a theocratic religion and with a girl-child as a savior and heroine..on there website one may find out the species of one's daemon...the daemon in this world is always the opposite in sex...I have been waiting to buy the books at the science fiction book club....Now I will wait until I see the movie... On monday I watched the new stephen king movie it was enjoyable as stephen king can be... Nothing is more frightening than his book in the 80's I stopped reading him because one of his books could induce insomnia and I need to sleep to go to work n' school or that is what I told myself when The Shining or the was it The Stand made his books verboten....Nothing could be more terrrifiying that when the Rock star character left a desolate and empty New York walking through the Lincoln tunnel unlite and full of rotting corpses. Or when the little boy would look and see the topiary garden change shape in scary quiet ways... So sitting and watching John Cusack go mano amano with a creepy hotel room was a joy... Merrie part from the hinterland and blessed be.

wiccan timeline

2007-06-28T02:05:00.000-07:00

I just vented on the church taking 1900 years to discover women were people and owning people is not nice unless it is in a sweatshop full the deserving poor. Of course people are going to say Pagans Sacrificed Humans babies and Goddess Know assorted fauna and flora. That pagans owned slaves and kissed satan on the butt on the full moon..When it comes to brown-nosing monomaniacal religious people cannot point the finger.. YES, People in the past Did bad things and Sacrificed humans of assorted ages and faun and flora..evilbible.com will give biblical rules and regs on the killing for god of the mono's...Plus is not a soldier dying in a holy war a sacrfice to god. It does not matter at the end of the day neo-paganism is a new religion and Thank Goddess and a rationale religion that views women as individual human being not chattel, which rhymes cattle and is the same thing property. Despite people waxing poetic about the ancient religions they were not fullproof and enlightened about women and slavery...In using the Old Gods a templates and extrapolating the best that the classical world had to offer.... there is a chance to move forward and modernize Sprirtuality Make religion a force for enlghtenment and civil rights and human rights... Now all mono's that worked to better the world let us say that the way the monomaniacal religions are acting nowdays and the cowardice of liberals in these religions. What ever good they did was when their religions back was broken.. They accomplished good despite being montheistically inclined or to buy souls on the open market of charity.. Blessed be from the Hinterlands

today

2007-06-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

I must say that I spent a good day surfin the net I have been lackluster in doing housekeeping. I must admit that my altar needs attention and so do my plants..this summer solstice was grand and wonderful for a whole 2 days I baked and cooked and brought to circle a good meal..I like when my interested in cooking and celebration of a holiday coincide...I took up the middle of the month the challenge of working on hone my practice of Wicca...Good thing come when I try to be diligent but even as an athlete I always needed down after intense activity..Daily one develops a idea of what is really going with ones self. I have left off bakhti and study to read and the book I choose was one recommended on a feminist site...It is called a Strange Piece of Paradise..in there is a quote "it has sometimes taken me ten years to understand even a little of some important event that happened to me. Oh I could have given a perfectly factual account of what happened but I didn't know what it meant until I the consequences" (katherine anne porter) I am at the beginning of the book and If I never finish it the book served a great purpose in my life by giving me that quote and by the author struggles in understanding a brutal assault that she was victim to.. I was assaulted brutally in youth but that is not what Is a defining moment to me in life the one that put me at odds with what my mother wanted me to be and that the family demand I believe...that had a more mundane and banal touchpoint...It was a moment in religion class at school on staturday...We were to investigate the altar and the instruments that were used in making communion wine and cutting the bread...I was excited because there talk on the news about altar girls in other religions and I maybe when I was older I could serve...But the church doesnot want women to serve the want them to submit...The boys went into the altar room and girl were told because they were unclean they could ..not..Maybe we really did not understand then we were to young to understand why we unclean just that we would bleed. I told the teacher boys bleed when hit in the nose and got patronized by the female teacher. This was bad women bleeding she strongly reiterated... Essentially that day the power structure was erected at the recesses the boys became more aggressive and violent in teasing and also more arrogant...It was easy to see boys that used play no longer could be bothered because they were better the teacher and church said so...Of course the word unclean wasnot understood until when at twelve puberty was ushered in....I can honestly say I truely hate my mother placing me in that situation and environment...I can truely say I hate the church destroying a part of that bold child and making her modest pure and shy... My mother I forgive because she was brainwashed but the church is an entity political and socially they I never have to forgive because>I am free as a Pagan no god coerces me to forgive a corrupt institution, that remains corrupt.. Of man made religion I do not believe any are the truth..Some saints and holy people might of been good and full of sanctity but served corrupt masters and I doubt they sit in paradise...When a religion cannot tell it followers that half its adherents are human being with unalienable rights like (THAT WOMEN ARE PEOPLE LIKE MEN) THAT THEY HAVE IN THERE LITERATURE RULES ON HOW TO BE A GOOD MASTER when you own slave the owning of humans as property as male servant or female family member is bullshit and taking 1900 years to figure it out is bullshit your prophets and church father were losers who need a gimmick to get in power They arenot great wonderful and enlightened beings because they ignorant and blind - Socrates had greater sanctity that christ and that bunch///If you think that the rights you have now were given to you by christ or allah or buddha you are a fool YOU ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED BUT A POLITICAL TOOL. of political entities that wish to turn back the clock to the place when they could physically own you.

blessed be from the Hinterlands.

peace

2007-06-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

well I was on pagan news site and one of the writers was castigating the pagans for not en masse writing the pastor of a burned out baptist church to offer condolences as a Group of adolescent Satanists burnt it down and he (the pastor) needed to drag the pagans good name into brouhaha..Basically the peacefull person implying that our indignation at being falsely accused of a crime is one of the reasons we are to blame for our own discrimination- is this peaceful person a outed pagan or a brain-dead buddhist. It does not work this way especially in the Bible Belt...But again we pagans are walking along in life and blamed for a horror...or a demented teenager calling themselves a Wiccan goes of the deep end and kills someone or ruins porperty suddenly joe-blow pagan in Poughkeepsie must buy a condolence card and send it. Whyfore??? Too repair our reputation..When local Catholic kid down the block goes dinghy or protestant kid it is never implied that the religion is to blame and if it was the screaming of the church of libel would be so loud it would drown out all condolences of the perps family. If an idiot pastor and he is an idiot needs to show the world his ignorance so be it...If pagans want to bitch about the idiots ignorance so be it...But do not confuse brown nosing with being superior in enlightenment and peacefull vibes...

such a liitle thing

2007-06-18T00:07:00.000-07:00

Today I went awanderin I went walking at the lake to do my daily walk. The Sky was overcast and for the hour and 20 minutes it promised to rain> I love a stormy sky and it is one of the reasons I love the plains...If texas could accomadatingly flood and kansas be scrunched into a mountain range it would be more perfect here than in california...But the plains are the steppes of AMerica and to me it calls to some ancient nomadic genes...Both sides of my family where steppe dwellers the european and the asian sides...I hate the Heat of summer but I love winter and I love it especially if spring and summer are wet. What is great about the lake is that with the democrats in control of the city...they have adopted a policy of allowing large swathes of the land in the park to return to native species of foliage...with this has come a return of many bird species and so the park is alive...With the abundance of rabbit this season, the wild cats are leaving the birds alone...For three years the plains have been in drought and now the lake is full...When the rains started to come and the lake filled up people began arriving to fish at night after work young men and couples were showing up...The geese are back and it is most beautiful, I am most thankful to the storm gods for their generosity. I was walking and I felt A great deal of happiness and as I walked and got my exercise...Out of the bottom of my brain came the thought thank Goddess I am fat....At that moment I had a appreciation for being a Fatty...Why would I have such a heretical thought??? What blasphemy is this???Why even young feminists would rather be oppressed than fat...Being fat proves I do not have the discipline to be truely radical and strong...Sorry I am obese and I cannot run the perequisite 10 miles a day that ran as young woman but I can bench-press 100 pounds and high-row 95 pounds and amaze the trainers at our gym when my husband runs me through my weight lifting routine...The equation of fat and weak by the slenderati is a funny one. When it comes to weight lifting I have never lifted at such high weight when thin. I might not be fast but I am not weak...I am very lucky that in my life I have lived fat, thin and fragile. I have been ill in thiness and in obesity....I am not brain dead I do wish to weigh less but I am no longer tormented by that wish...The tyranny of slenderness is gone and no I am not what society says is a normal weight(a living coat hanger for clothes size with hugemongous boobs)...Nor am I the healthy weight bigot size normal( you can weight as much as your grandmother did at 20, forgetting that the depression and wwII food scarcity had a great deal todo with the svelte figure) Which means you screwed unless you look like marilyn Monroe or Scarlett Johansson...The thing is that being slender is a terrible thing if you are like 98 percent of society and do not heave coal for a living and come from famine prone countries or your ancestors did. Fat is only bad now because it is a feature prominent to poor people...If tomorrow every fat person could genetically remove from themselves and their descendants the fat genes in them...Rich people and the middle class would be mainlining cool whip...Fatty porn would be enshrined in playboy and CAmeron Manheim and Kristy Alley would be fashion Icons.... The slenderati really do not have fat people interest at heart and Having been slenderati it is simply spite and jealousy that informs their action and beliefs...To say fat people donot care about their health is ludicrous I know many that refuse to smoke or quit smoking for reasons of health. I do not see amongst the slender such health motivation as many smoke to make not eating palatable...But the most Ironic is that the more of a pain in the ass you are to the fat ones the greater is the occurance of you becoming a Fatty as you age...Oh low is level and the pride of the formerly slender and now fat...But If one can put aside the self loathing and disgust in oneself that western society demands from fatsos... there are perks... Men do not hit on you continuely especially when they see the ring on your finger...(what ever made men think putting a ring on a finger of a woman would magically make her out of bounds and they think Harry Potter people are gullible)... no nasty remark and cat-calls walking down the street...No one wants to Fuck with a angry fat woman and Buffalo Bill withstanding serial killers are afraid of fat women...That is why they do not kill their obnoxious female relatives...So there is a joy to being fat and if you exercise diligently and wisely alot of physical ailments of fatness are negated.... Will the charming sexist bastards want to date you??? no!!! even if they are in to fatties image is all to them, but who cares that is another plus and a major one it prevents heartache and divorce and being taken to the cleaners Fat people of the world unite....No longer allow the Elitist Slenderati to control your happiness and self- love....And enjoy your meal...

internet puzzles

2007-06-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

When I am on the internet and then off it for a while I am amazed at some new trick I am able to do...Of course the new trick usually has something to do with selling something and I can rarely ever repeat it if I wish to...But these little things to someone as illiterate as I am with a computer are what makes the internet seem like A large Chinese Puzzle box... It is part of the allure of it... I went to a function at the unitiarian church and I saw something there that I am beginning to see at the VA Hospital...Veterans that are usually the most conservative in faith and political beliefs are becoming radicalized...Unlike the sixties were liberals attacked them as conservatives exploited them ...Many soldiers are seeing that they have been recruted to fight a Holy war that they did not sign up for...Deep cynicism from people that do not publicly criticize authority >show they are unsettled ...Growing up in a country that has freedom of religion and a separation of church and state, then living and fighting in countries that are theocratic dictatorships has opened many eyes. I am much relieved and heartened by this turn as it means that the evangelizing of the military is losing strength under the reality of soldiers seeing eexactly what it is like for people to live in a Theocracy. In this way the fundies of america have lost momentum...I feel that the turning of America into a christian Theocracy is lost and I must say that I am ashamed that I doubted the common sense of the common man..The fundies have been waving a theocratic USA in front of the growing numbers of disenfranchised working class and middle classs as a cure to their socio-economic ills, like a carrot that is rotten in the inside but still looks fresh and nourishing....The Iraq WAr is a major blunder on their part as young working class and middle class men and women are returning to the U S in droves now dissaffected from religious absolutism...I believe that all things can be made into a force for good... Maybe this war with Iraq was necessary for americans to wake up and get over their flirting with religious Absolutism...I once had a Psych prof that stated before one can accept a new mode of behaving or belief, one would inevitably relapse in old patterns, behaviours and beliefs before growing and moving on healthier beliefs and habits... I view the growth of the Religious fundamentalism as that a relapse in immature and unhealthy belief in the divine ...All I can do is pray for the indigenous societies around the world that they survive the onslaught of the attention of these religious entities. merrie part from the hinterlands.

philosphy and Pagans

2007-06-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

Well again another movement is afoot to legitimize the Pagan or Wicca religion. We must forthwith develop a body of wisdom to charm the world into taking us seriously..I have read alot of christian philosophy as a child and young Adult and I believe it was the arguement over Hallelujiah and Allelulia that got me to throw up me hands up in disgust and start checking out eastern Philosophy..My opinion after years of reading Philosophy of the religious bent is that it is Bullshit and Mental masturbation for people of these religions and various sects. All this literature in so-called philosophy allows christian countries to practice paternalistic toletarianism with laws that favor those who read the philosophy while explaining away the vicious mysogny and abuse of children and disenfranchised male..Keep the Idealistic ones reading church philosophy that way their attention will not be on human rights..It is the same in buddhist countries read this High-faulutin' stuff and ignore slavery around you and the rampant mysogny. The pagan religion is popular because it lacks a body of work because this lack allows one to live with their formation of a spiritual path if pagan wanted a body of philosophy they would of remained in mainstream religion and continued to mentally jack off to sacred literature.

JOY OF MOVEMENT

2007-06-08T05:11:00.000-07:00

Kneel and Kiss the Ground (yoga dreams) I wish not to kneel I want to raise my arms upward in exhaltation I wish to bow and touch the ground I want to touch the heavens with my palms

I wish to lay prostrate on the earth I want to dissolve into the earth Be part of her pregnant beauty

I wish to hail the night sky I want to exhalt the cosmos Be a one of starlight I want to root my feet into the earth I want to sail my heart unto the moon May my body bridge the immanent and the trancedent Cleansing my soul before all consciousness and all existence. 5-8-07 Sophia M There has only been 3 activities I have done in life where I have almost felt A one with existence as though the I of Sonia left and the we of existence had entered me and none of those activities were meditation or ritual..They were long-distance running, long distance Backpacking and yoga..Long distance running was a lesson in ecstasy, the glory of movement and the joy discipline, Long distance backpacking was the experience of mindfulness and experience the physical world in the now and the beauty of mindfullness and patience, endurance and a sense accomplishment in the now. Melded with the beauty of nature and the Mother., Yoga after years of illness is a return into the body and joy of movement and the wonder of a recovering body..I suppose that when it comes to spiritual experiences I am a physical and hands on girl>that is probably why being a pagan is so rewarding a religious vocation to me... It is a hands on religion in interaction in a physical sense is demanded from drumming to dancing up energy it demands action instead of observing liturgy and trying to decipher church slavonic...Like when I am driving down the street passing inane signs of dubious spiritual value I will break out in gratitude and Sing THANK GODDESS I AM A PAGAN GIRL..

web wanderings

2007-06-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was web wandering and came up on a site Radical Goddess Thealogy in it she mentions the Bull dancers of the ancient minoan culture and the fact that modern matadors say that it is an impoosibility to do what is recorded in the ancient friezes in the ruins in Crete.. I suppose to a modern matador who is in combat with the modern bull would find it hard to imagine a bull allowing such liberties from a human... But a matadors job is to torment a bull to death not to dance on a bull in a religious/entertainment ritual. theirs, the matadors, is a death and tormnet of an animal entertainment like rodeo but withthe extra kick of death at the end. What if the bull dancer had raised the bull since a calf training it to accept the jumping of the dancer on his back, to be taught that the grabbing of the horns is a game as the bull tosses the dancer over himself knowing he will land hopefully safely.. I would think that bull dancing would be a team effort of the dancers and bull, a bit like the trained Lippizaner horses of Austria that cavort and jump with riders seated on them.. These bull would be selectively bred the way Lippizaners where for the talent of bull dancing.. It was probably a dangerous entertainment more for the human than the bull, but not one that is unimaginable... I donot think a Matador is someone to ask about the probablilty of bull dancing as their experience is with bull killing.

Oh Bull by Mark W. Atwood

BEE MOON

2007-05-27T03:27:00.000-07:00

Well the next Full Moon needs to be named the Bee Moon as many will be doing rituals to help the flagging bee colonies here in the UsA. It is something that has been worrying me and my partner and We have both decided to do a ritual on the evening of the full moon instead of waiting until circle on the saturday after It is to important an issue and the full moon night needs to be used completely. The last few days I have been adding to my collection of indoor plants for my ritual room and for the last two days have been hand sewing new curtains. This week will see the completion of the re-decorating and reorginazation of the home and I can spend summer workin on the outdoors and the gardens. So the next few days will be spent investigating and investing in helping the Bees and This weeek I will be as busy as a bee.

oh heil

2007-05-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

My partner calls the new Pope "the Nazi' I of course wanted to give the man a chance but, yet again, I must bow to my companions strong intuitive sense when it comes to smelling out a new media personality. I call the Pope a media personality because I am Pagan and barley tolerate so-called Pagan leadership let alone other religious people bosses..I must say that the man started out with a bang leaving the gate with the Annoucement that PAGANS caused the Holocaust..This must have been a great surprise to Hilter sitting in some bardo or maybe he was a fly on the wall when they came up with that angle at the Conference for absolving Christianinity for past crimes. In true form he went on to state in Brazil that Indegenous people where praying to be enslaved and introduced to christ.. Thus now are offended all the indigenous people who are still kissing up to the church with hope that in doing so they will win a political ally for social justice. Thus proving to the brazilians that are returning to indigenous faith that they were right in their asessment of the church...No longer do they have to worry, the Pope has proved their suspiscions were correct as is their decision to return to their original faith..In going conservative I believe that the church is in the long term losing the battle for the Hearts and mind by playing to the religico-fascists in their midst. AS for the Pagans creating the Holocaust evilbible.com has a article written by a german whose grandparents were SS. and father a Hitler Jungen on Hitlers true religious beliefs in Hitlers own words. .. My parents were both in Germany during the war one set as slave labour the other as refugees.. I never heard them blame the huge germanic pagan hoard for WW2..I did hear some cussing of Catholics and Lutherans when it came to cupability

mother's day

2007-05-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

Well today is Mother's Day and I find it a sad day..The preceding saw me in a horrible temper driving my poor partner mad but he started the eruption of Mt. Sonia. I find that today I need to take a rest from energy work and meditation.. I need to allow my subconscious to precolate and let my emotions settle..I do not believe that my departed mother and my relationship with her will ever have closure..She was not a woman one could reason with and in her final years I found that showing her or getting her to understand the amount of torment her raising of me engendered within me, impossible..She was old and helpless, she would never realize what she did wrong and it was to late to fix the damage..I Do not like to torment old people with their mistakes, because they do not have the time repair the damage..Most of them do not feel that what they did or believed was wrong..INvariable the problem becomes you and the need for you to get to church and not their belief system. Well I hope that other people Mother's Days are better.. I will be lunching with the in-laws I am not looking forward to that..so my partner will need to bribe me with plants to adopt for my indoor and outdoor garden..I am enjoying my brief foray in the territory of the terrible twos of the middle-aged.. merrie part from the hinterland ( one day civilization will reach us) or better (the indigenous peoples will take over again)

The elusive nature of spells

2007-05-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting discussion with my husband about the nature of magick, spells and hexxes..My husband doesnot do magick aside from an occasional healing circle or holiday spell at circle..His magickal abilities are channeled into his art that he creates..I ask him if he wished to have a hex on a person negated would he break it or return it to the source. ..I was for breaking it because I figured that returning it would be bad karma...but my husband goes "no definately return it" as it is a living thing the spell or hexx...That was the first time that Thought of a spell or hexx as a living being but I could see were he was coming from the hexx is made of energy and thus could be alive to send it back to the source allows the orginator of the spell or hexx to have the chance to rehabilitate the hexx...thus what ever singnature energy the originator has infuused the spell with is not harmed and returned the original owner...But what if spells are a living entity or alive the way bacteria or viruses are is it ethical to use them to do our bidding or are they just like yogurt cultures beneficial to mankind or like viruses a danger..these things are percolating in my mind I see in my minds eyes spells roaming the nethersphere like small dragons going to appointed destinations...Now that is something to visualize when raising energy.. merrie part from the hinterlands...

BELTANE

2007-04-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

Well the spring has sprung and beltane is here for months I have been redecorating and getting past negative influences out of the house and I have reached the 3/4 mark in finishing the house... for right now with the holidays bursting and bustling around I have taken a vacation from grade A professional house cleaning I am doing this spring..I have returned to bakhti and meditation work and I am picking up my needlework and going to the gym to take care of myself> My dead line is to start in early june to push to finish cleaning the house and also I need to start my magickal parctice and studies...I went to Barnes and Noble and found two grand books on sale and after I do my requisite 2-hour stitching I will open them up and divine new knowledge..One of the books is a translation of the Book of the dead that my husband has jealously appropriated<> he loves anything ancient egyptian, the other book is by Phyllis Currott.. I have been able to start fine tuning my diet as I work to the goal of becoming a vegetarian again and my husband the carnivore has been enjoying the change in having vegg days and meat days again.. Beltane was celebrated on saturday this past weekend and my partner and I are quite enjoying becoming part of the Cuups community..It is easier when dealing with relatives of his for him to cop to being a unitarian that way strange ministers do not show up on our doorstep along with pamphlets in the mail and membership to tele-evanglist clubs that occured when he copped to being a buddhist..So being a Pagan has grown into a path that grows more beautiful and beneficent with each passing season..what started in youth as thumbing ones nose at society has in maturity become a belief and lifestyle of such comfort and joy that is impposible to deny ones soul once this path is started. The beauty of this spring is no better shown than in my peonies that bloomed in time to become part of the holiday gift offering to the gods.. Merrie part from the hinterlands Goodpoint; holidays are good for women and man. pagan HOLIDAYS are good animals and pets ALSO as my cat Sumo is purring to put on this blog

"The VA SAys" BFD

2007-04-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

VA accepted the pentacle BFD It will still be a fight to see it on a stone or to see a Wicca or pagan officiate at a funeral in a military cemetary as in Indian country they cannot seem to find a buddhist to officiate at one of their burials...My father after spending weeks getting pamplets exhorting him to find christ before he died needed to suffer a christian chaplain at his burial... Buddhist are just too exotic down here in Indian country..The VA has never ever accepted in conservative parts of the country any religion but Christianity and barely tolerates Judaism.. In liberal parts of the country they just keep their mouths shut and do the chrisitian thing... This is the truth of the VA...Here where I live they do not even practice bare civility when speaking to you, the Hospital Chaplains...My husband told one he was pagan and believed in a higher power for his trouble in explaining his belief He got an AT LEAST YOU BELIEF THAT as though he were a Spiritual Slacker///And that is what we are viewed as by these christian soldier chaplains as spiritual slacker in danger going spiritually Awol and thus should not be encouraged as we are a Bad Discipline risk.... Then you just have the stupid VA nurses and doctors who see a pentacle on your neck and refuse to run tests on you in the Emergency room and send you home to come back on Monday.. In the process pissing off your primary doctor who doesnot know you wear a pentacle...Before Hillary it was impossible to get good care at the VA if you were a Woman,,But the Clintons took care of that...Now with the Bush administration it is Hard to get good care if you Belong to a religion not of a Montheistic Bent...The back lash of being a AcKnowledge Pagan and in the VA system is not worth the aggravation and Possible dangers of lax medical care.. But maybe now we can give them the bird by having a pentacle on our graves, but like I said I will believe having a pentacle is possible when I see one where my father is buried and If it is true and they honor the law without digging their heels in... Then I be buried there and my husband also, but like I said when I see it in action then I will believe it.. merry part from the provinces.... Bad point: Just because they say you can do it does not mean they will put it on the the stone or keep it on the stone.... The VA promises veterans bullshit every day you are in the system it does not mean they are going to give it to you.....Disabled VEt realitiy lesson one...

blast of a gothic songstress

2007-04-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

I have been staying away from the news the last few days and spending time working on simple things like energy raising and bhakti to my personal Gods..I also have been on the internet trolling. To my great delight I discovered a bunch of Lene Lovich and Kate Bush clips and I am in Hog heaven..Lene Lovich is the original Queen of Goth and I loved her music in the late 70's..I was introduced to her before MTV existed on a Music Show that came on after mid-night on Friday on Channel 13 in Los Angeles it was devoted to the new medium of music videos...Out of them all she was striking in visuals and costume techno-rock with a slavic flavoring and being 1/2 slavic I was mesmerized..>I am enjoying the dip back into my disreputable youth that the internet is alllowing me ...I need to state a hearty thank you to the techno-Goddesses and Gods for the internet..Without it I would not have the pleasant distraction that rediscovering Lene it has allowed me. ...Again I need to state a hearty thank you to techno-Goddesses and Gods for the internet...Without iT I would be dwelling on unpleasantaries instead havin a blast from the past time.. Merry part the Provinces Good point: the internet can be abused but it also gives a great deal enjoyment.

2007-04-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

I feel That in life most people do not get the respect they deserve it seems as though death is necessary for many to be appreciated and some times in death those that should be forgotten are canonized when they should be vilified.. the students and teachers at VA tech should be canonized and lionized because they are a the victims in a world were collateral damage is accepted.. We must have our guns so these people are the drive -by victims of our insane love for powerful and destructive toys.. I have nothing against someone owning a winchester or a handgun if they were in the army or received training... I do believe that owning a gun needs to become a priveledge and not a right.. just as having a child should be viewed a gift from the goddess and not the thing every one does at a certain time of their life.. These people deserve prayer and devotion and in the next 90 days as their souls acclimate to death we should light candles to light their way or nightlight if unable to light candles and pray that they are guided to the heaven of their souls home or to a auspiciuos new life and pray that they are at peace. I hope that the mentally ill gunman is helped in death as he was not able to be help here on this plane..I hope those that tried to help the victims and the prepatrator continue to be of service to people and not be discouraged by the final outcome of these events.. Tragedy occur in life frequently and must be studied to learn from but one cannot simply us this a political ploy to prove your beliefs are right whether conservative or liberal...People will be bitter but the victim and the prepatrator must helped with prayer and the friends and family comforted...I honestly believe if we study the tragedy first and then assign blame after first seeing to the honoring of the dead. I wish that when something like this happens there be a moritorium on comments from politicians and committee formed to see what caused the event... Everyone will have an opinion on this in the end..I stated mine above..We need to move beyond opinion to solution and see that the mentally ill receive help and that these things do not happen again... thank you and merry part from the hinterlands...

betrayal Rethought or Bloudeuwedd's crime?

2007-04-17T03:23:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the Welsh goddess Bloudeuwedd, the beautiful one, the one conjured from the most beautiful of things, flowers... she is the betrayer, her story is of betrayal....I know of Her from the welsh legend of the Sun Gods unfaithful wife, at face value it is a domestic drama the legend of female villainy... but that is face value.. the legend tells of how Bloudeuwedd was created to only pleasure and love the Sun God Her existence and destiny was as A male God's sexual Object of pleasure... The Legend is not a to be taken at face value no myth or legend should be..the betrayal is not that of the Sun God by a unfaithful consort but as the betrayal of Bloudeuwedd... in creating her for one purpose her autonomy has been destroyed as a play thing. She is given no free will and thus this story is something that patriarchal men do not understand...Lugh gives her no choice he has betrayed her right as a being to free will thus he pays in making her his slave with his life...It is Ironic that her price for killing her spouse is to be changed into an owl, and given the wings to alight and find the freedom of flight...The envy of mankind for millenia... So is she betrayer, or betrayed, is she punished or set free ultimately that is in the Eye of the Beholder. It is a story do not raise your daughters to be wives, mothers or handmaidens only. Allow them to choose their destiny, biology is not destiny. Raise them to be Human with hopes and dream and a wish to create with life, not clay to be molded into a vessel for someone else...For not to do so can lead to dire and fatal consequences... Merrie Part from the provinces.....

Oh holy bullshit, more Fundie Frolics and Imus

2007-04-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

I really have been working hard at getting the house done before the Solstice season is coming we expect to have a secular party in the summer to celebrate the renovation of the house...And I want to have a good fire festival outside to bring in the summer.. if spring ever comes back....While I was painting Christianne Amanpour my favorite journalist came on CNN with a report on England's battle with radical religious extermists...It was depressing then when I stop for the day I needed really to hear from nutcase female religious extremists of xian persuasion talk about how our female soldiers are disrespecting the female sex and motherhood by doing their duty to their country and agreeing with the President of Iran about How women need to be treated in a taliban way to protect the children and motherhood...THESE XIAN FUNDIE WOMEN ARE TRAITORS TO THEIR SEX AND COUNTRY...//// At a time when the ranks of the military are stretched to the breaking point they expect female soldiers to decamp because the Iranian president sneered at us for having women dress in pants let alone carry guns...This is a man that had to financially negotiate to even get married and to a girl-child he never met and we need to worry about his opinion...At a time when every soldiers is needed these conservative republican women are proposing that we cripple our military in a way that not even a radical terrorist could achieve.. Taking battle ready and harden female soldiers and replace them with what air or maybe Death row convicts... As much as I believe that pacifism the ultimate expression of sanctity, as is veganism I am neither but I am traveling in that direction but this life I am not going to become a Female with a Gandhi like life and character but I know that is the direction to follow in my future incarnations. That being said, These fundie women state that WE women are being degraded by learning to protect ourselves and our country from radical terrorists, that the wise Iranian president's government helps fund... That said female soldiers would be better serving America by passively staying at home becoming civilian targets,they and their children.Like all these Fundie women who support the war but are pure too sully their hands by actively protecting their children or maybe the new color of purity for conservative fundie Women is not White but the color yellow... Good thing Especially for my husband no more IMUS my husband hated him and is now in seventh heaven at his firing...But Imus debate is not about freedom of speech but about calling a bunch of women who were doing nothing political or socially that was outrageous nasty names and being that rude is something that society needs to stop. Good Lady! America collectively swooned over nipple with a pasty on it..Calling a group of Innocent bystanders nasty racial slur should not be tolerated and common decency won this time... Bad point: Religious Fundies they even stick up for each other and get Ideas from each other even when they belong to different religions and are at war with each other. Good point: Shock Jocks and political pundit boobs need to be reigned in every time they go over board to learn circumspection and discretion like the teenage delinquets they act like....What Imus said offends me more than A nipple but in the bible belt that is a rare opinion as the n-word is only something that white people wish they could still use and are jealous that black americans use amongst themselves.

The dragons have come with omens

2007-04-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

It was a surprise on Friday when My husband and I alighted to the nearest Lowes to find a Curtain rod, the decorative kind and to look at plants to adopted into my house garden and outside garden....It was surreal as snow flakes blew lightly around.. INside Lowes was pandemonium as workers rushed around to save spring offerings of plants covering the garden sections with tarps and hauling in movable displays into aisles that never have plants displayed in them.. I live in a part of the country that loves to obsess about signs, omens and prophecies...They do not take to heart the admonishment in the bible, that they love to tell you they read all the time, "about a vain and harlotish age vainlessly looking for signs and omens", while their god stands around ignoring them as he taps his foot... To me it looked like a very good sign that Gaia was fighting the fever of Global Warming with a bout of the chills...Of course I needed to state the obvious to my husband that this freak of a weather, a return of frost and snow flurries in April, would be taken by the yahoos as a sign that global warming was propaganda...I acheived great feat of divination on my part as for as we walked, the gallery walk, that night in chilly glory an acquaintance needed to inject it into a conversation and tomorrow on sunday brunch it will be brought up to cow my husband and my liberal eco-friendly political beliefs.. They will never bring up how unsual the weather is just "ugh uh it's cold can't be any global warming". I wish divining Lotto winning number could be done this easily.. But the Goddess of domesticity smiled on my Friday A whole bunch of stuff, of dragon themed variety was 90% off on sale on the clearance racks I saw that As a good omen that the house spirits and Goddess were happy with the Face lift the inside of the house is receiving with me painting the dowstairs... This job has consumed me for weeks and with physical labour and the cold weather the arthritis in the back has returned but Yoga keeps it at bay and the pain is a nuisance and not debilitating as pre-yoga...FOR A GOOD BOOK ON YOGA AND RELIEF IN BACK PAIN RELIEF IS IN THE STRETCH by Loren Fishman M.D. the book is a lifesaver to anyone with a bad back.. bye from the provinces and us provincials.

tempest in a mono-chramatic teacup

2007-03-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

Is it simply that life is so boring that people of a religious bent must make up stupid little causes to be for or against...Muslims do not wish to touch pork, these are muslim cashiers in some place with alot recent emigrees from Somali..I have nothing against these people asking me to scan my own bacon or sausage and packing it into a shopping bag...Having worked retail I do not view the cashier as a personal servant and If she is not rude about I do not think I would have a problem with it..But that is simply me I was raised a mixed race and religion family so accommedating others little bents and quirks come naturally....As long as said muslim is not stupping for the outlawing of pork products doing this favor for them doesnot bother me...When dealing with cashiers and other kinds of service personnell I have other problems that worry me such as if I wear my pentacle out and about will I given bad service and find hair in my food.. Will, I when I wear a symbol of my religion, be exposed rudeness, nastiness and bad service...UNFORTUNATELY YEAH... I no longer wear a pentacle because being in a state of aroused indignation is a unpleasant attitude and is hard on the physical body and health...I have developed also a mini-phobia I do not trust people who wear crosses and I look at them askance when I met them because in my dealing with them is always the thought If they knew I was a pagan would they be smiling so much when they help me and sorry past experience has taught they will be quite serious, most probably sour faced and have a thin veneer of rudeness..But that is mono-charity for you... Thank Goddess that the flowers have come and beauty is enfolding us with spring.. Well merry part from the provinces...

SEVENTH AGE IS OVER,thank Goddess

2007-03-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

I just got off the web site for the International Year of Polytheism (or the number of the beast is one) it is a rollicking site devoted to travelling and celebrating the multitudes of gods out and about with articles and events like the eating of a persimmons for Zeus complete with certificate of participation in the event... it brings a smile to my mean old heart and a wish to be young and quixotic. When I was young I as a young person even though I lived in Los Angeles there was no paganism around and Manson had scared all us children on the straight and narrow mono path...Used continually as a example, until reading Helter Skelter I did not realize that it was just a new hip and supposedly slick version of end times...Really until reading Simone and Germaine I did not realize that there was in politics anything besides commie-liberal and god fearing conservatives but once a child reads a book it is hard to get the weasel to behave and get back into the box. ANd as the people trying to always burn them it is rarely the sex that bothers them in the book it usually the ideas and the look into a world the parents hide and fear that trigger the bonfire....When exposed to liberalism with an open and humble attitude one invariable is changed for the better but it also takes a tragic humbling to turn a conservative into a peace loving liberal.... I must say that yes I love physical peace> I have no wish for war in the material realm. I believe the only weapons A person should use is a good vocabularly and a keyboard the only battle and war worth waging is with words....The pen is mightier than the sword, is correct because that one sentence has lived in human beings minds longer that any Generals speech except for War is Hell. I was a child considered stupid by most people including my family I was lucky to have english teachers in public school who doubted this. Yes that demon infested municipal service, was my salvation greater than_any jesus could ever be to anyone( stated to underline my damnation send no bright pamplets with chauvinistic statements masquerading as sincere concern...they only tell me how much better you believe you are because YOU recognize true sanctity and I am hoi-polloi that needs saving.) I truely Mourn the demise of the war on illiteracy and sinking into superstition of America by the concerted attack and soon death of public education. But some can say A pagan is the last person to talk of sinking into superstition and It is always a good moderate or liberal who brings this point up, raised usually in a monotheistically bent household..I never had a Hindu doctor or lawyer accuse me of this I have had nominal christians by the bushel fold suggest it....The gods in the end will out ... As the spartans in 300 discovered sometime you need to fail to win the war and the Gods do not necessarrily desert us...I remember a girl in 1985 California calling from her balcony to the Gods Shouting the Seventh Age is OVER the GODS HAVE RETURNED...Thank Goddess and Blessed be THEY are back right on time and not a minute to spare like a Great divine Cavalry saving the world from the excesses of the mono-mania...

In praise of oldness or tgio (thank goddess i am old)

2007-03-10T05:17:00.000-08:00

this morning I have been listening to music as I surf the net. I discover a new rock band last year from Ark. Evanescance I love a song called Immortal...Evanescence is a band that captured well the angst attended with youth and continues in adulthood. I have to say I was a angsty youth very angry and military service does not beat it out of your system... Yeah it will teach you how to make your bed with nice square but to the angst ridden it only leaves you with a taste for revenge for the powers that be and to question authority....But you can save alot of money for college tuition if you do not get your butt shot off.. The service, I do not call it the corps it was like voluntary jail time that only a teenager would sign up for hoodwinked by conservative parents...It will make a man/woman out of them....Yeah and pigs fly you spend your adulthood recovering from it... The song immortal reminds me of that time. The song it gives me sloppy sentimental memories of first love and attended sorrow of a great unrequited love.... It is the ones that reject us that leave the biggest mark on the psyche and not the one you just fail to hook up with...I would not give anything to be young in fact I look forward to old age....I have an aversion to youth....I would rather spend my life in middle age....A time that even after screwing up badly, I am getting too old and tired and do not have the energy to worry like I did in my youth... we need a movie In Praise of Oldness we need a new word to call the period...Thank you it is over, is to long and has not enough punch to it describe the relief and contentment one has when they realize they have survived to be in their forties.....

, shrews and badgers,, Weight

2007-03-09T19:23:00.000-08:00

I must say something in praise of the Goddess is that every time I screw up in life I am so grateful that I live in the present..Even though times are uncertain there are things I did not have to worry about that in other times would be the tragic or tragic in another part of the world... I have been angry at men in my last few political bogs but I am sure the male sex will recover from my shrewishness...A shrew is a small mean rodent like animal.. A better descriptive for me would be A large fat badger... I like badgers the first time I saw a badger was at Perris Island in Boot.. they are pretty animals with a stubborn, determined and mean desposition... I do not mind being associated with them...When I was a a child the worst thing in the world was to be called for little girls was to be mean it was worse than being called fatty on the elementary schoolyard...Fat was an adjective that would be soul-crushin in middle school and High School when you realize that fat girl do not get boys...Or maybe I do not remember fatty fatty because I was thin in as a young child...I am not bragging but I was a exceptionally beautiful child as a youngster... People would comment about it to my mother on public buses and doctor offices they would call me a china doll or a little beauty....Natural beauty is not kind to children, I hear from men beautiful as children it is not easy for them either...They have many studies talking about how much easier it is for good looking adults, but not so for attractive children. It engenders envy from children the attention adult give and it elicits the wrong attention from the wrong adults, the perverse dark kind...I am not an attractive adult excessive weight has hounded me since I started my development as a women. When I was atheletic and thin I was still mired in the self-hate that abuse of fat person by parent society and culture engenders... My mother did not handle it well when the china doll became obese.. I had a friend once see a picture of me as a child and she asked me why I threw it all away as a teenager in middle-school and got obese... People today look at fat children with contempt masking it as concern and sympathy but is really pity and validation of justification for why fat people need to be taken in hand and discriminated against....IT is for their own good(If I had a nickel for everytime that is used to marginilize people and commit discrimination I would be Bill Gates neighbor). All this meditation on weight started when I took a test on death clock and saw that I would die thity years earlier than my paternal grandmother because I was overweight... I am smaller than her or the be honest the same BMI as her. She lived through war and starvation as a young adult and as a mature women and she died in 1987 when medical care for the elderly was not good so I wonder.. AS a child I saw many obese old people survive to their seventies if the doctor was good and they got a little exercise and changed their diet...Many almost made it to eighty if daughters and daughters -in -law took them in hand but they remained high in weight....These are people who grew up on lard and many in their youth smoked unfiltered cigs. I believe that in the future the medical care for the elderly will be bad... medi-care will be band treatment and when we baby boomers die before our time, our families will be told that it was being fat that kills us...This increased emphasis on weight and weightism will continue as the elite continue to force a GAUNT UNNATURAL beauty on women.. A form of beauty very hard to maintain with any physical, emotional and psychological comfort,,Fueling speed addiction in drugs and suppliments...leading to emotionally unstable young and older gaunt women that despise and are horrified by plus size women because that is the only way one can maintain the focus to practise malnutrition as a lifestyle.. these gaunt women will be the first to cry that we must maintain the discrimination of the obese to better protect the obese persons health ( bit like promoting homophobia to protect gay people from AIDS) All the while practising malnutrition, overactivity(exercising) and cigarette smoking to maintain their gauntness...believe me I was 5'8" and 120 once I know the lifestyle. people are obese for many reasons but women are gaunt for one reason vanity.. out of this equation who really has the moral high ground

clothing

2007-03-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

on the net there has been natterings about pagans and clothing. Witchyness is becoming popular to pop-culture... It started with pagans saying we must shape up or ship out clothing way...I am not talking about the wonderful woman elder who said we pagans need to get off our butts and take a walk each day.. Being overweight and ill I know she is very right in this matter...But that pagans need to grow up and dress like the church lady or in armani suits like tele-evangelists to be taken seriously but I do not blame these people the first time I heard this mantra was from a buddhist lay-person at the parliament of churches...I thought it was strange since my fathers family were tibetan buddhist and amongst them there several monks in the family. Their monks do not dress mainstream american culture.....What this statement is really saying literally to the pagan practitioner is that The reason you are being discriminated, you are losing your job, you children are harassed at school or being taken away by vindictive ex's is because of the clothes you wear to circle and festival. The vestments and robes your priestess and priest wear when representing you and your faith are hindering mainstream society from taking you seriously thus making it all right to discriminate against you because you are childish...It is a blame the victim shell game...Kind of like telling a rape victim she deserved it because she wore a mini-skirt and is thus a whore worthy attack..... Mainstream christians are not ever going to like pagans and they will desperately want to always marginalize us...I thought about this alot because I was Buddhist for a while and when I do not trust the person asking the I will cop to buddhism...Pagans are treated like atheists we are demonized and if you do not believe atheists and agnostics are demonized, read Twelve Step- recovery literature..WE are people who have repudiated monotheism and monotheists do not like it because they take God seriously, but not serious enough say to follow his rules like the Golden Rule. Pagans have concrete reasons and except for very enlightened elders and teachers, people that love to poke hole in monotheists overeaching dignity and dogma. Dogma that montheists take every seriously except when they need to downplay it to get money or new adherents. So we Can have our preistess wear Versace they will be called whores, but will be very slim.. or they can wear ren faire costume and a nice cloak and be bosomy and plumb, better when I think about my appearance I hope I look joyful and happy...and not cranky and sour like dana carvey's the church lady

or we can all just go skyclad, unfortuantely for me not in this lifetime with my body.

kity bit

2007-03-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

I am going to write like a sentimental fool about my little cat Sumo.. she is a dear I have spent the day surfing the web and bloging about political matter and I need to contemplate something pleasant. It is not that too much evil is in the world I have a great love for history and social history is my favorite. People like to think of the past nostalgically these are people who rarely crack open a history book written by reputable historian or social theorist...The trouble with the good old times is they weren't, if they had been your ancestors would have stayed in Europe or Asia...Black people understand this and are grateful to be in the modern world....Conservatives hate any time that they cannot dictate to the populace what they must think, do or believe...And Hippies just miss the 60's and being a young adult...I am ashamed of my generation we ruin the environment, dismantled to unions and destroyed to public school system... All because we did a few drugs, had wild sex and then decide to be born again or went into recovery that usually has the end result of being being born again, with that educational level and cognitive ability of the new born. I am not saying that babies are stupid they just are not imbibed with alot of street smarts which what adults need to survive and protect their children..Innocence is highly overated and many children are made victims beacuse of naivetivity....Yet all religions scream that we must be like children, why? so we are easier to steal from, to control, to give you the power that you and your orginaztions crave..I have decided that any religious holy person that has said or written reams religious prose about innocence being so a virtueous must be forced to talk and listen to a molested child tell them about how great it is because we live in a world exhorts us to more innocent without protecting the innocent amongst us. well there I go my black cat has left the room she is not a politcal creature and prefers when I meditate or do quizzes on the net to be able to cuddled in my lap.. she has been replaced by my mini Schnauzer who enjoys my ranting much more. merry part

Wicca Wicca witch

2007-03-07T10:35:00.000-08:00

I just read an article about a protest in gathering about the Pentacle on gravestone for veterans as a disabled Vet I have decided to donate my body to science to give back to the universe practical use and good from my worn out husk...But the main reason is I live in a part of the country were even if They allow a pentale at my gravestone in VA cemetary I doubt my wishes will be honored and I do not want my husbands last memories of be of me be revolving around legal wrangling and Government High-jinks the VA Admin can not be trusted and lie bald face to veterans, family and ultimately to the law.... Their concern about the veteran is gauged by which party is in power and how liberal or conservative president and appointees are...If liberal dealing with them is not extremely hard or exhausting and sometimes they are helpful without even being asked... If the conservatives are in power and the director is overly religious help medical or any other is hard and being a Minority religion sets one up for abuse.... No I do not want my last days remembered as my husband needing to spend them arguing with whatever martinet is in charge of the VA Cemetary about what gets chiseled on my gravesstone...I would rather he remember me as sarcastic bitch with a rapier wit who would only back down if he asks me to, but would really fight for social justice. no matter what. My fight is mine and if my husband was the Vet I would fight to the death for his pentacle but for him I know my death would be hard enough for him to deal with.... Well anyway in the article they talk to an executive that works at Llewellyn she is described as doing wiccan rites but not a wiccan... I am certain that this is a misguote, but if not, is not doing wicca rites yet not being a wiccan or pagan or not Identifying or qualifying at least a pagan or goddess-worshipper a bit like a person going to catholic mass and having communion but telling people no I am not a Catholic... To such I have kind i have developed a bitchy attitude it is like, "shit or get off the pot" to be blunt....We do not need outsiders to view us as Diletantes and Dabblers in the occult that will not get us taken seriously or reverse discrimination. I would rather see an devout ascerbic goth or ren faire Maid gushing about the beauty a Wicca and the evils of discrimination than have my religion charcterized as the dabblings of yuppie new agers... Believe me there is a Conservative writer who charcaterizes us as this all ready a religion made up by the spoiled youth of the Elite. Instead of one of substance practicised by the devout chrsitian poor in america and believe me that kind of thinking sells amongst the yahoo's in the bible belt...Shabby social theory to explain and justify paranoia works amongst people in uneducated states like the bIble belt..... So I would rather have a Lady Moonbeam and Meadow as an example than some hip, slick and cool person with well scrub demeanor of a christian pop singer any day. I grew up in the heyday of the hippie to me pagans were hippies and Jewish intellectual feminists I loved them both and I see nothing wrong in being counter-culture, conformity is the death of spirituality. merry part

Salvation, responsibility, spiritual pride and dignity

2007-03-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

I want to talk about religion I am not a christian because I really do not care if Christ forgives me or not he is one person or God. What I want to know is that at the end of my life if I am found guilty that Mother Goddess will love me and visit me when I am serving time... I hope She will love and not cry for my blood and an eternity in Hell or worse a dissolution of my soul I want my Goddess to be a Peace pilgrim, a anti-death penalty but I also want Her to hold me responsible for my action I want rehabilitation and not blind forgiveness. I see too many people who view Christ as a co-dependent and passive-agressive God..Yes he will forgive you but do not get on his bad side... I grew up in a dysfunctional home and believe me there was not much fun just alot of gallows humour... I had crazy parents and inconsistency as a child I do not want to cleave myself to a God that emotionally unstable, judgemental and flies off the handle left and right...My parents did that to me and I am going the ask for a Karmic divorce the first chance get after I have paid my dues to humanity and the Goddess feels am ready to be a responsible adult child the keyword is adult... Neither as an adult do I need to have everybody believe everything I believe in about the divine or the world I just do not wish to swallow your beliefs forcibly and have various religious manuals thumped into my consciousness, I like to have diverse reading material.. I have no need to be saved.... I must learn to get out of my messes myself saving me will only enable my soul to continue misbehaving I need motherly unconditional love and guidance that Mother Goddess can give me. When a God saves you and needs to forgive it means that you did something that has ruined relationship with that God and he no longer trusts you to be responsible.. Sorry that means you have to jump hoops for that God's love and that I told you so is always hovering in the background... I know Mother Goddess loves me and will always be there with the right advice and care ... because despite my mothers lunacy when the shit hit the fan she was always there to try in her dysfunctional way to help and though I never want to live another life as my parents child I wouldn't mind if my mother was my homes....

The joy of Womin's Work

2007-03-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been a beautiful one full with the replanting of new house plants that are now permanent guests at my house now... there is nothing more relaxing than gardening and planting it is more fun that harvesting...Another thing is doing deep house cleaning it is hard work but like long distance running one gets into the zone the longer and more intense one cleans... 90% of all violent crime is prepetrated by males... I wonder if men took to housework, cooking and decorating the way women do maybe they would be less violent... Maybe simple work of women needs to be glorified by our culture instead being enforcers to the mob and then maybe peace and diplomacy will become an option instead of bullets and bombs.... merry part

movie madness

2007-03-05T10:57:00.000-08:00

Friday we rented three movies one was a dramedy, another a sci-fi fantasy set in 1800's and the last a horror movie... all were passable and not a waste of money or film... The dramedy had Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffmann and I like it greatly it was worth watching and buying in the future I like sentimental movies I am just a simple slub and sentiment plays well with me... And the cast was great the leads were personable and great in their roles and a supporting cast with high wattage in ability....Will Ferrell and Maggie Gyllenhaal made a believable couple without the plastic or overly beautiful looks that actors now days need as a prerequisite to work, they look like someone you would meet at a bus stop... I have seen Maggie Gyllenhaal in three movies at least and in each she has presonified another personality type and is able to fill out diverse characters shoes in her understated way she is a young Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren honing her craft instead of playing the glamour game of hollywood. The second film was The Prestige a dark and bitter look at obssession and great in Hugh Jackman descent into madness.... But unfortunately there was no one in this movie to cheer for literally...It underscores the victorian view of men and the importance of women in their personal universes they(women) are used with an offhanded regard someone to love but not important in the scheme of things....I can not say that among the men their was any to root for or to like and treatment of the women smacked of emotional sadism it was uncomfortable, in the end, movie experience.(DAVID BOWIE was great, rock and roll's gain was motion pictures lost.) The third movie The Return was a woman's horror movie little gore, alot of emotion and star-crossed love I enjoyed it, my husband found it lacking in action and gore and so slow, I thought that the end redeeemed the movie... ////The actors were not really very TExas maybe they could have fit in Austin.,, And the scary farmhouse bedroom was too shabby chic for good ole' boy.

cleaning and planting and enjoying mundacity

2007-03-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

For the last two weeks I have been obsessed about cleaning, I must admit that I spent to many years cleaning strangers houses for a living to ever be a Anal retentive when it comes to my own house...Cleaning ten households a week has a tendency to break one of fussiness when relaxing at home and it makes one loathe to hire outside because you really do not believe the world needs a poor housecleaner driven mad by the demands of a ex-pro... Having live the life of dirt and detergent I know I can never afford to pay a Housecleaner what she/he deserves for a the bullshit they put up with from clients and agencies. But it is good to be well enough and physically strong enough to sling furniture, paint and cleanser around... There is one thing I love to do is to organize it is the death of me and ends up with 24 hour cleaning sessions when I am physically capable... My husband will invariably wake-up in the middle of the night and ask why am I still cleaning, but once you start it is hard to stop it is the starting that is the pickle.... When it comes to houscleaning I have a rusty alternator and it takes some coaxing to get into the mood... I think I if a started a new career I would be an organizer or in a alternate universe I would be an effiency expert but not the stopwatch kind but the ergonomic kind simplifying things for the good health of the worker not to squeeze out as much work out said exhausted worker. But my new contemplation room is beautiful Saturday I moved all my plants upstairs and into the kitchen... Since my Lewellyn datebook told saturday was auspicious a day for planting my husband bought me a late Loveday present of indoor plants I was beside myself... Unfortunately He regretted the generoisity when the garbage disposal shorted out and he spent sunday re-wiring in the kitchen.... My only defense was I always potted in the kitchen and this never had happened before...And pretending to sleep as blue language floated up to the second story bedroom...But it is worth it when I see all the new additions to the family they are truely a beautiful group of flora and Lowes plants are much better, prettier, hardier and cheaper that home depot and they have a better selection....that'ss alllls FFFFFolk from the hinterlands of america

oh pretty star

2007-02-24T02:25:00.000-08:00

I have been working this past week on getting and meditation and ritual room together and so I have been painting. I have been running around today and picking up odds and ends for the room... I will never cease to be amazed at the way the pentacle is being marketed in this part of the world... If you slap the words Lone Star on the packaging you can have the pentacle plastered all over an object. If a soldier dies defending the US... Heaven Forbid he get it on his tombstone. Last year we drove through Dallas and saw pentacles all over freeway overpasses, But heaven forbid Bush do the right thing and make the VA put a pentacle on heroes graves. Factoid seven: Spring is returning and planting will begin for the emotionally diabetic anti-factiod: No one in government wants the war too end it is just to profitable at the taxpayer and civilians expense.

Fluffy, fluff

2007-02-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

I will return to Fluff and yesterday I spent a good day I at the movies seeing first run pics.... Both were fluff one was Ghostrider and the other was The Messenger of the two I enjoyed The Messenger the most... There something comforting about a ghost story made by someone of the Asian culture... Rarely is Satan invoked to explain the phenomenon usually very human and very mundane emotional reasons cause the horror. Which make the story refreshing to a culture that blames all its unexplained mishaps on THe GReat SAtanic Conspiracy....Watching Haunting on Discovery Channel makes one believe that SAtan prefers chasing big haired housewives around,in red state track house communities, terrorizing them and local fundie deomonologists....Such a common occurance this is one wonders who is exactly out there among the evil forces is planning the ENd Times... Maybe Tim La haye and his bunch will have to do both sides of the wars logistics since all these demons attention is being diverted to buxom bighaired houswives.... Ghostrider was a great disappointment to my husband as he read the comic as a child...I found it unattentionally funny and I feel and hope the person who wrote it did so with tongue and cheek...There was the usually anti-Wicca propaganda The elementals are demons bullshit...But when SAtan played by ex-hippie Peter Fonda appears to make Nicholas Cage in an alley a ghostrider, above shines a Texaco STar making one wonder is it the pentacle that is demonic or is it a sly dig that the oil business is in satan hands. After such a great day celebrating Love Day for the Anti-fertile the weekend should get better....

Love day for anti-fertile

2007-02-16T07:37:00.000-08:00

Today the day after Valentines and Lupercalia is I think a great day to start a new Holiday... ANti-fertility day for the socially conscious amongst us who have stepped up to the bat and decided for the sake of the planet and humanity to withhold from breeding..... To day should be the day that couples married, co-habiting , gay or straight who are remaining anti-fertile is the day for the rest of society should say thank you... That fourth child you want is probably only feasible because someone went to bat and said I will not be breeding for the sake any future child.... The anti-fertile have a reputation of being immature and selfish that needs to be disspelled... Most anti-fertile are not Peter and Petra Pans refusing to grow up we think alot about children and in positive ways.... Most like children and are introspective to the point that they realize the responsiblity raising a child incurs and also How bad the environment will be and society when they are adults.... We Know that it will not be made better having childrennn willy-nilly.... To us large families are the modern moral equivalent of Nero fiddling as Rome burned(He was really playing the harp...) We are not selfish and we do not believe we attain immortality through any children we produce... Immortality is attained living our life not making some child miserable by forcing our hopes on them.... One should have a child only when one can give them a future and the tools get a future.... Global warming is only being made worse by excessive fertility of the human species next time someone tells they do not want to breed support them>>> They came to the descision by thinking about it a great deal..... Not by lack of thought.....

Oh Quizzes

2007-02-14T15:10:00.000-08:00

For the last two times on the internet I have obssessively been doing quizzes off two sites one is truly-dippy quizzes and another is blogthings, I am so easily amused. I found out that I am a night elf and an flying unicorn. Maybe if I put the two quizzes together I am shapeshifting night elf/flying unicorn..... My clothing is urban edge dipping in either goth or minimalist black and I am not a redneck. The last one I was most grateful to discover..... But I am slothful and will probably die in bed from some catastrophie because I am too lazy to move myself to save myself. AS I said I am easily amused and I am tired of kevtching about the world so realm of quizzeses has entered my cyber-space and my husband and I are now in a race to see who can wake-up and get to the computer first. Talking about my partner I must brag on the man not only does he paint the beautiful pictures on this site but he made a beautiful desk in the closet in his studio that now houses the computer and I now have a meditation and ritual room ..... Now will be able to practice yoga and commune with the universe and hopefully get in to a more optimistic frame of mind...... I am feeling bad vibes about the election, but I am a pessimist at heart. I think that liberal minded people should not allow the dem win in the last election make themselves overconfident. Americans have a bad habit of living down to lower expectations when it comes to doing the right thing, most of us would rather do the convenient thing and vote for rhetoric with sloppy logic than accept the hard truth that hard work and higher taxes are going to be needed to heal a raped and traumatized America........ So I will meditate and do rituals and hope to Goddess logic and reason prevail in 2008.

forgivness addiction and religion

2007-02-12T03:08:00.000-08:00

My Husband is in his studio painting, He just finished designing a new computer desk and soon I will have a room for meditating and doing yoga and a ritual room... I honestly believe that people need room to do the things they love... I love ritual devotion but I must fight the need to be lazy continually... I have a good live and now with my two blogs I have a way to throw out to the universe my outrage and spirituallity.... Having studied other spiritual and religious traditions I have found in them a phobia against anger and a obsessive-complusive desire to force forgiveness on victim of trauma... I am puzzled about this because when a prophet comes down from the mountain in righteous rage rarely do the people who worship him tell him to TAKE a chill pill..... Yet a women gets rape or a man is injured in a robbery everyone is on their backs about forgiveness especially if the said crime is done by a so-called pillar of society..... I realised meditating on this is that rarely is a religion concerned with the anger and crimes of the elite... In their job as a societal sedative religions have sold their souls.... to the lower classes, the oppressed, to women the mantra is that anger is evil and forgiveness must come first in ones mind unless the prepatrator is also of an oppressed class then an eye for an eye is used to slake the cultures anger, later they will press the victim to forgive. Forgiveness can never be forced, you cannot pray it into existence it only enters the soul when you realize what a sad sack the person who hurt you is and you care more about leaving the persons influence than holding on to the anger.....Relative who harmed one I have seen in myself and others are rarely forgiven until they are dead or permanently out of your life..... In rare occurances were the prep is truely remorseful and has tried to rectify the wrong that rare miracle of true forgiveness occurs.... For many people being civil to the prep and relative is the only forgiveness they can give and remain in a relationship..... But that is enough and it is really great amount of generosity on the part of the victim that rarely is praised in all the religious tract and pseudo-psycho-religo psycho babble popular today.... Do you really need to forgive someone A person harmed by another NEVER NEEDS TO FORGIVE THAT PERSON they only need not retaliate that in itself is a great form of forgiveness that is pooh-pooohed and minimized in our retribution driven society. If I do not want forgive someone no big deal I just do not let them rule my mental space or life... Not forgiving someone usually means that my instinct is telling me not to trust that person.... Human instinct is for self preservation. Religions Hate it because it would rather you trust their employees rather that your own intinct.... That is why instinct and its wisdom is ridicule, called female intuition, old wives tale, for men femenine side or being chicken. Factoid six: The world can be saved by only one person and that person at a time. I can only save myself but i can help myself and others with care not books and guns. Anti-factoid six: Cold weather in the spring time doesnot mean there is no global warming it means that we screwed up GAIA'S INTERNAL CLOCK ,,,

Eurynome

2007-02-05T01:31:00.000-08:00

I was thinking about Eurynome today. After circle this Saturday I have thought about the Greek Gods a Great deal. The ritual for Imbolc was a celebration of Greek myth that brought home how much information I picked up about the Greed Goddesses as a child It is the Pantheon I know the most about. There is a beauty in the Greek gods that I loved as a child a lack of harshness unlike those found in other peoples religion. They were not perfect and disliked and held in horror two things Cannibalism and Hubris... When stumped with meting out punishment for a moral infraction they believed in compromise.... There is a lightness in them that has survived the thrashing of their reputations by other religions and their own actions... There are many gods in the greek stories and many a creation story because many different city state would have a different Goddess as the creatrix. Well circle was a re-doing of the greek mysteries of Demeter and Kore and the return of Kore. Of all the circles I had been to in the last few years this one had the most atmosphere of sanctity around it. It was a though the Greek gods themselves were holding their breathes and in the end they most asuredly gave their approval to the ceremonies. Well blessed IMBOLC to all. Forgot to post on the 2-3

Kitty cat and Kitty spirituality

2007-02-02T02:35:00.000-08:00

I have two cats one is a calm, serene and black cat and the other is male tuxedo cat that one day walked in the door right in front of the noses of the two dogs and the spasming of calm cat to take over the house. Little did he know he would get his little self neutered for that show of bravado. Since then my poor female cat knows no peace unless he is asleep or outside, the poor dear is developing ticks. Lately I have noticed that the tux cat is developing a form of kitty spirituality or may-be I am becoming one of those wacky cat ladies who thinks their kitty is st. francis reborn. It started with my Buddhist statues disappearing. Then my husband mentioned that the cat(tux) ran off with one a few days ago. Then pentacle jewelery started going missing and medicine bags disppeared. I grabbed him and asked him if he was working up a big mojo, but he would not look me in the eye. Then he started praying to the porcelain god. Everytime my husband or I went to the toilet he would scuddle in and pretend he was cute little harmless kitten and pigs fly,.as hub would tell him. Then he would climb up and watch the ritual of the flush making certain everything left the bowl. Soon he would go to the bathroom and stare at us in the living room using his kitty powers of focus and mesmerisim to get one of use to come in and do the ritual again so he could partake of it.... I think I realize what he is praying to a the minature buddhas I had and made secret altar. I think he wants in his next life to be something flushable to know the great mystery.... That mystery fascinates him to no end. ... May-be he is a kitty einstein coming up the the Theory of relakitty.... Factoid four: Janus Joplins Music is proof that Goddess loves us and wants us soothed, too bad Janus did not have time to learn and feel Her love. no anti-fractoid still a holiday.

Imbolc Poetry DAy.

2007-02-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

Fire Festival I just love it I wish that there could be a huge bonfire at circle and we could burn effigies of tyrants for good luck. Since I am being nice I will not go in to detail and description of said tyrants, but open the mind and just start imaginating as my partner likes to say. There is a call on the net for poetry to celebrate the fire Goddess Brigid for the celts so lets be a bard today and honor her with offerings OKlahoma Dreaming Oh verdant plain of endless miles I walk a path to see your soul Around me bud the newborn flowers As Spring she eases Winter's hold Ahead of me there runs a stream It winds its way to meet its mate Together they will grow in force Until they push down to the sea. Up in the sky there flies a hawk In lazy circles she does dance Her partner, wind, lightly blows His southern breath it warms the plain Good-bye Madame winter dear Your visit was most kind this year I see shy Lady Spring has come She quietly returns to start the play Soon after comes Queen Summers advent and with this Lady the wheat will ripen The grouse will play among the grain The mice will scamper in the heat A bawdy Autumn Dame will enter The harvest moon will rise again Her glorious colors shall sheath the trees As Winter starts to gather her strength The Madame Winter will return I'll shake within her cold stare Her beauty icy to behold The year will die and be reborn again. The plain she watches quietly all The ancient drama replayed again She knows that she will still be here When I am a memory of the wind. not public domain copyrighted March 1999 Sophia

Factoid Three: All european pagan societies had bards all were honored many were blind .

No unpleasant fact Its a holiday.

the joy of quizzes and polls

2007-01-31T19:28:00.000-08:00

I just went to a web site and did a bunch of truly fun quizzes that have no moral, political, spiritual or mystical value but are very entertaining. It is called truly-dippy quizzes and a great way to amuse the easily amused. I love polls and quizzes no matter what they are entertaining. Do they tell the truth HELL NO. Everyone in the world has a edit button including and especially in the confessional as I remember as a child growing up. They are fun quizzes and polls. I do not believe that we should tailor our thinking and belief system on them no Like I said we all have an edit button. and the people who need to use it the most rarely do. Factoid Two: I can believe whatever my truth is no matter what pressure society and family and Institutions place on me////// to the cynic and oversugared. Factiod TWO flipside: Too many people think you want or need their truth. Jesus helped you, yes, Great, NOT MY EXPERIENCE, QUIT LEAVING RELIGIOUS PAMPHLETS ON MY DOOR CONSIDERING A PENTACLE is HANGING NEXT TO IT.you have moved from concern to obnoxious just because Jesus, God and cross are written on the paper doesnot make it Magic it won't convert me automatically. because my experience with Jesus has been extremely unpleasant enough for an aversion to occur in my soul. Not because I am evil and deny Christ But because I know to much about the history of the church and the times that formed it to be impressed your pamphlets. I have had also too much interaction with pious christians to be impressed SORRY . I hold pious people up to same standard of excellence that I do other people who profess to be better morally and ethically, should be held to . Sinner is not an option when you are trying to convert people to a system of belief you believe is better than theirs. People deny Christ because they Know to much about christianity, not too little. Do not feel Sorry for us we are at peace. We feel sorry for you and pray for you.

taking over blog

2007-01-31T17:01:00.001-08:00

this used to be my partners blog but he discovered the world of war craft and since that momentous occasion the computer is now a window for him into world of constant level-building and questing. I have no probem with this as an addiction to warcraft is extremely innoccous compared many others that can manifest in a person. I thought about deleteing this blog but then I decided since I am always bitchin' moanin' and complain' in my steppe-wanderer blog I would use this the write something positive to teach me perkiness. Not that I want to be perky but one always must give alternative lifestyles a chance in this society and so this blog will try to be perky. To the extent that a cynical, melancholic, frustrated, sarcastic radical with a low thershold for conservative (Neo-con and regular) and fundie shennanigans can be, I will in this blog try to be positive or at least once in it mention a very positive fact. For cynics who cannot handle the sugar rush and perky people on a mental diet from sugar coated thinking a negative will follow. FACT ONE////Jerry Falwell is a man!!! Women and transgendered female folk world wide celebrate eternal gratitude for that. Thank Goddess. For the incurable cynic and the perky one that need some mental protein. ANN COULTER IS A WOMAN- PROVING THAT idiocy and prolong self-delusion is brain damaging or May-be IT is the bleach. Modern beauty treatments can be damaging in unforseeable ways.