such a liitle thing

Today I went awanderin I went walking at the lake to do my daily walk. The Sky was overcast and for the hour and 20 minutes it promised to rain> I love a stormy sky and it is one of the reasons I love the plains...If texas could accomadatingly flood and kansas be scrunched into a mountain range it would be more perfect here than in california...But the plains are the steppes of AMerica and to me it calls to some ancient nomadic genes...Both sides of my family where steppe dwellers the european and the asian sides...I hate the Heat of summer but I love winter and I love it especially if spring and summer are wet. What is great about the lake is that with the democrats in control of the city...they have adopted a policy of allowing large swathes of the land in the park to return to native species of foliage...with this has come a return of many bird species and so the park is alive...With the abundance of rabbit this season, the wild cats are leaving the birds alone...For three years the plains have been in drought and now the lake is full...When the rains started to come and the lake filled up people began arriving to fish at night after work young men and couples were showing up...The geese are back and it is most beautiful, I am most thankful to the storm gods for their generosity. I was walking and I felt A great deal of happiness and as I walked and got my exercise...Out of the bottom of my brain came the thought thank Goddess I am fat....At that moment I had a appreciation for being a Fatty...Why would I have such a heretical thought??? What blasphemy is this???Why even young feminists would rather be oppressed than fat...Being fat proves I do not have the discipline to be truely radical and strong...Sorry I am obese and I cannot run the perequisite 10 miles a day that ran as young woman but I can bench-press 100 pounds and high-row 95 pounds and amaze the trainers at our gym when my husband runs me through my weight lifting routine...The equation of fat and weak by the slenderati is a funny one. When it comes to weight lifting I have never lifted at such high weight when thin. I might not be fast but I am not weak...I am very lucky that in my life I have lived fat, thin and fragile. I have been ill in thiness and in obesity....I am not brain dead I do wish to weigh less but I am no longer tormented by that wish...The tyranny of slenderness is gone and no I am not what society says is a normal weight(a living coat hanger for clothes size with hugemongous boobs)...Nor am I the healthy weight bigot size normal( you can weight as much as your grandmother did at 20, forgetting that the depression and wwII food scarcity had a great deal todo with the svelte figure) Which means you screwed unless you look like marilyn Monroe or Scarlett Johansson...The thing is that being slender is a terrible thing if you are like 98 percent of society and do not heave coal for a living and come from famine prone countries or your ancestors did. Fat is only bad now because it is a feature prominent to poor people...If tomorrow every fat person could genetically remove from themselves and their descendants the fat genes in them...Rich people and the middle class would be mainlining cool whip...Fatty porn would be enshrined in playboy and CAmeron Manheim and Kristy Alley would be fashion Icons.... The slenderati really do not have fat people interest at heart and Having been slenderati it is simply spite and jealousy that informs their action and beliefs...To say fat people donot care about their health is ludicrous I know many that refuse to smoke or quit smoking for reasons of health. I do not see amongst the slender such health motivation as many smoke to make not eating palatable...But the most Ironic is that the more of a pain in the ass you are to the fat ones the greater is the occurance of you becoming a Fatty as you age...Oh low is level and the pride of the formerly slender and now fat...But If one can put aside the self loathing and disgust in oneself that western society demands from fatsos... there are perks... Men do not hit on you continuely especially when they see the ring on your finger...(what ever made men think putting a ring on a finger of a woman would magically make her out of bounds and they think Harry Potter people are gullible)... no nasty remark and cat-calls walking down the street...No one wants to Fuck with a angry fat woman and Buffalo Bill withstanding serial killers are afraid of fat women...That is why they do not kill their obnoxious female relatives...So there is a joy to being fat and if you exercise diligently and wisely alot of physical ailments of fatness are negated.... Will the charming sexist bastards want to date you??? no!!! even if they are in to fatties image is all to them, but who cares that is another plus and a major one it prevents heartache and divorce and being taken to the cleaners Fat people of the world unite....No longer allow the Elitist Slenderati to control your happiness and self- love....And enjoy your meal...

blast of a gothic songstress

I have been staying away from the news the last few days and spending time working on simple things like energy raising and bhakti to my personal Gods..I also have been on the internet trolling. To my great delight I discovered a bunch of Lene Lovich and Kate Bush clips and I am in Hog heaven..Lene Lovich is the original Queen of Goth and I loved her music in the late 70's..I was introduced to her before MTV existed on a Music Show that came on after mid-night on Friday on Channel 13 in Los Angeles it was devoted to the new medium of music videos...Out of them all she was striking in visuals and costume techno-rock with a slavic flavoring and being 1/2 slavic I was mesmerized..>I am enjoying the dip back into my disreputable youth that the internet is alllowing me ...I need to state a hearty thank you to the techno-Goddesses and Gods for the internet..Without it I would not have the pleasant distraction that rediscovering Lene it has allowed me. ...Again I need to state a hearty thank you to techno-Goddesses and Gods for the internet...Without iT I would be dwelling on unpleasantaries instead havin a blast from the past time.. Merry part the Provinces Good point: the internet can be abused but it also gives a great deal enjoyment.

clothing

on the net there has been natterings about pagans and clothing. Witchyness is becoming popular to pop-culture... It started with pagans saying we must shape up or ship out clothing way...I am not talking about the wonderful woman elder who said we pagans need to get off our butts and take a walk each day.. Being overweight and ill I know she is very right in this matter...But that pagans need to grow up and dress like the church lady or in armani suits like tele-evangelists to be taken seriously but I do not blame these people the first time I heard this mantra was from a buddhist lay-person at the parliament of churches...I thought it was strange since my fathers family were tibetan buddhist and amongst them there several monks in the family. Their monks do not dress mainstream american culture.....What this statement is really saying literally to the pagan practitioner is that The reason you are being discriminated, you are losing your job, you children are harassed at school or being taken away by vindictive ex's is because of the clothes you wear to circle and festival. The vestments and robes your priestess and priest wear when representing you and your faith are hindering mainstream society from taking you seriously thus making it all right to discriminate against you because you are childish...It is a blame the victim shell game...Kind of like telling a rape victim she deserved it because she wore a mini-skirt and is thus a whore worthy attack..... Mainstream christians are not ever going to like pagans and they will desperately want to always marginalize us...I thought about this alot because I was Buddhist for a while and when I do not trust the person asking the I will cop to buddhism...Pagans are treated like atheists we are demonized and if you do not believe atheists and agnostics are demonized, read Twelve Step- recovery literature..WE are people who have repudiated monotheism and monotheists do not like it because they take God seriously, but not serious enough say to follow his rules like the Golden Rule. Pagans have concrete reasons and except for very enlightened elders and teachers, people that love to poke hole in monotheists overeaching dignity and dogma. Dogma that montheists take every seriously except when they need to downplay it to get money or new adherents. So we Can have our preistess wear Versace they will be called whores, but will be very slim.. or they can wear ren faire costume and a nice cloak and be bosomy and plumb, better when I think about my appearance I hope I look joyful and happy...and not cranky and sour like dana carvey's the church lady

or we can all just go skyclad, unfortuantely for me not in this lifetime with my body.