May Day

Walpurgis night has past. Satan and his minions the hamsters were nowhere in sight not a nibble on my feet. I enjoyed the walpurgis nacht and the celebrations that went with it. I like the pagan religion because it is a joyful one and respectful of others no one preaches hate or anger at the ritual and festivals. it about the celebration of life and not one of telling the practioner how not to screw up. which is good because probably alot of Neo-pagan are what society would look down at and call screw-ups. If we are hateful and angry it is on our blogs and that is something that if a person does not want to see or read they can move ON . Well nothing much to talk about still recovering MERRY PART AND BLESSED BE.

the hell w/it

My partner is channel surfing as I blog and for a moment he touched on a channel with a show describing the SAtanist magic dabbling of some heavy metallist..Even as a teenager I could never really keep a straight face at the witnessing of the formerly demonic, that might be the reason I strayed from the 12-step fold, I always want to ask loudly,, What were you taking??..and how high were you?? I do not believe that one can be possesed by the Devil by reading Aleister Crowley...There are strick rules that supernatural entity has to follow, Possesion may only occur by the formal permission of said possesee.. Most people being exorcised need to really exercize their Goddess given freewill tell their nut-case religious-freakoziod family members to back off and get themselves to a psych ward.. THe popular and romantic myth of the possessed going for psychiatric help for years maybe decades and are then cured by the rite of exorcisism is bogus, bullshit...More often the family, nuttier than a fruitcake, cannot admit or allow themselves to comprehend the person under the supposed demon's spell is really Mentally ill, because it would explode all the family myths and delusions of normalcy...The only thing SAtanic in America is the way we treat the mentally ill..And that churches as an institution collude with giving people that need anti-psychotics bogus religious relief and conveniently sell ridiculous stories that could have been proved true...if only satan had not made the camcorder not work. Believe me If satan was real he would probably be egomaniacal enough to want himself on camera and on primetime..not Joe-blow the Schizophrenic being psycologically abused by clergy and family..DEvils and Demon have little power on this realm...whereas people do have the power to say yea or nay..

A tale of two blogs

I have two blogs why I do not know..I had a vague reason that one I would vent my worst of times and in the other I would strive to work to uplift my spiritual side and be in denial and achieve spiritually numb state of my emotional, intellectual and reptile brain equivalent to being comfortably numb state in the Pink Floyd song. I have always thought that the buddhist state of equanimity was this comfortably numb state the way to nirvana was numbing relief of non engagement brought about by meditation induced endorphins..Something that narcotics and depressents give you after the euphoria and before the crush and the crash, the I do not give a Fuckedness feeling and attitude.. right now I am listening to the song as a teenager I believed that not feeling was the key that you had attain to achieve a state of divinity..It is one reason why charismatic religions scared me as a youth..And yet I now belong to a circle that loves drumming and ecstatic dancing.. and I like it because unlike the emotion brought on by the witnessing the guilt, the horror, the relief at redemption as a teenager I once felt it..Ecstatic dancing allows me to feel that moment before, feeling evolved, before thought, before consciousnes arises...The way we listened to Pink floyd while stoned there was a beauty as though the next deeper brain wave pattern would bring us face to face with God. In many ways Long distance running can bring that on the feeling. In fact I had almost ruined my right knee because I could not give up the need for speed it was not speed it was the feeling after the euphoria the fifteenth mile and the slide into the I do not give a Fuckedness... The recovery movement and the anti-drug czar keep dwelling on the horror of drug use(there are many) but are extremely reluctant to look at the fact that getting high is a experience that sometimes border on the most holy and high and all that from the skanky drug dealer on the corner. It is why we send addicts to pseudo-recovery programs that are simply revival meeting couched in psycho-babble hoping to repeat the connection to the divine achieved in the drug high. With the drug addicts and penitnent service may-be if they pray enough and meditate enough they will achieve addict equanimity the state of I Do NOt give a Fuckedness. May-be that is why they do not allow recovery addicts to have an opinion..To feel any outrage at social injustice..We all need to be smiling little emotionally repressed and guilted clones waiting for Hale Bop and the mothership. As a teenager and young adult when angry at parents and/or husband I would park on Pacific Highway above the SAnta Monica beach, and watch the tanker come in deliviering crude oil to the refineries further south, watch the container ships leave with american goods we manufactured things then in the USA, sometime a tramp steamer old and proud sail by of to the south seas may-be with the 70's version Jean Harlow hitching a ride. Ships and being numb sometimes were life's only proof that God exists and loves us. By trying to force spiritual experiences on people addicted to drugs physically and emotionally we do them a disservice and then always end up blaming the addict for their lack of recovery. When there really NEEDS TO BE to true concrete medical physical and psychological treatment for them..And maybe discover a physical activity that can help create a comfortably numb feeling.. Oh but that would take concerted indivividual treatment when it so cheaper and expedient to send the addict to a free 12-step meeting. merrie part from the hinterlands

JOY OF MOVEMENT

Kneel and Kiss the Ground (yoga dreams) I wish not to kneel I want to raise my arms upward in exhaltation I wish to bow and touch the ground I want to touch the heavens with my palms

I wish to lay prostrate on the earth I want to dissolve into the earth Be part of her pregnant beauty

I wish to hail the night sky I want to exhalt the cosmos Be a one of starlight I want to root my feet into the earth I want to sail my heart unto the moon May my body bridge the immanent and the trancedent Cleansing my soul before all consciousness and all existence. 5-8-07 Sophia M There has only been 3 activities I have done in life where I have almost felt A one with existence as though the I of Sonia left and the we of existence had entered me and none of those activities were meditation or ritual..They were long-distance running, long distance Backpacking and yoga..Long distance running was a lesson in ecstasy, the glory of movement and the joy discipline, Long distance backpacking was the experience of mindfulness and experience the physical world in the now and the beauty of mindfullness and patience, endurance and a sense accomplishment in the now. Melded with the beauty of nature and the Mother., Yoga after years of illness is a return into the body and joy of movement and the wonder of a recovering body..I suppose that when it comes to spiritual experiences I am a physical and hands on girl>that is probably why being a pagan is so rewarding a religious vocation to me... It is a hands on religion in interaction in a physical sense is demanded from drumming to dancing up energy it demands action instead of observing liturgy and trying to decipher church slavonic...Like when I am driving down the street passing inane signs of dubious spiritual value I will break out in gratitude and Sing THANK GODDESS I AM A PAGAN GIRL..

web wanderings

I was web wandering and came up on a site Radical Goddess Thealogy in it she mentions the Bull dancers of the ancient minoan culture and the fact that modern matadors say that it is an impoosibility to do what is recorded in the ancient friezes in the ruins in Crete.. I suppose to a modern matador who is in combat with the modern bull would find it hard to imagine a bull allowing such liberties from a human... But a matadors job is to torment a bull to death not to dance on a bull in a religious/entertainment ritual. theirs, the matadors, is a death and tormnet of an animal entertainment like rodeo but withthe extra kick of death at the end. What if the bull dancer had raised the bull since a calf training it to accept the jumping of the dancer on his back, to be taught that the grabbing of the horns is a game as the bull tosses the dancer over himself knowing he will land hopefully safely.. I would think that bull dancing would be a team effort of the dancers and bull, a bit like the trained Lippizaner horses of Austria that cavort and jump with riders seated on them.. These bull would be selectively bred the way Lippizaners where for the talent of bull dancing.. It was probably a dangerous entertainment more for the human than the bull, but not one that is unimaginable... I donot think a Matador is someone to ask about the probablilty of bull dancing as their experience is with bull killing.

Oh Bull by Mark W. Atwood

The elusive nature of spells

I had an interesting discussion with my husband about the nature of magick, spells and hexxes..My husband doesnot do magick aside from an occasional healing circle or holiday spell at circle..His magickal abilities are channeled into his art that he creates..I ask him if he wished to have a hex on a person negated would he break it or return it to the source. ..I was for breaking it because I figured that returning it would be bad karma...but my husband goes "no definately return it" as it is a living thing the spell or hexx...That was the first time that Thought of a spell or hexx as a living being but I could see were he was coming from the hexx is made of energy and thus could be alive to send it back to the source allows the orginator of the spell or hexx to have the chance to rehabilitate the hexx...thus what ever singnature energy the originator has infuused the spell with is not harmed and returned the original owner...But what if spells are a living entity or alive the way bacteria or viruses are is it ethical to use them to do our bidding or are they just like yogurt cultures beneficial to mankind or like viruses a danger..these things are percolating in my mind I see in my minds eyes spells roaming the nethersphere like small dragons going to appointed destinations...Now that is something to visualize when raising energy.. merrie part from the hinterlands...

BELTANE

Well the spring has sprung and beltane is here for months I have been redecorating and getting past negative influences out of the house and I have reached the 3/4 mark in finishing the house... for right now with the holidays bursting and bustling around I have taken a vacation from grade A professional house cleaning I am doing this spring..I have returned to bakhti and meditation work and I am picking up my needlework and going to the gym to take care of myself> My dead line is to start in early june to push to finish cleaning the house and also I need to start my magickal parctice and studies...I went to Barnes and Noble and found two grand books on sale and after I do my requisite 2-hour stitching I will open them up and divine new knowledge..One of the books is a translation of the Book of the dead that my husband has jealously appropriated<> he loves anything ancient egyptian, the other book is by Phyllis Currott.. I have been able to start fine tuning my diet as I work to the goal of becoming a vegetarian again and my husband the carnivore has been enjoying the change in having vegg days and meat days again.. Beltane was celebrated on saturday this past weekend and my partner and I are quite enjoying becoming part of the Cuups community..It is easier when dealing with relatives of his for him to cop to being a unitarian that way strange ministers do not show up on our doorstep along with pamphlets in the mail and membership to tele-evanglist clubs that occured when he copped to being a buddhist..So being a Pagan has grown into a path that grows more beautiful and beneficent with each passing season..what started in youth as thumbing ones nose at society has in maturity become a belief and lifestyle of such comfort and joy that is impposible to deny ones soul once this path is started. The beauty of this spring is no better shown than in my peonies that bloomed in time to become part of the holiday gift offering to the gods.. Merrie part from the hinterlands Goodpoint; holidays are good for women and man. pagan HOLIDAYS are good animals and pets ALSO as my cat Sumo is purring to put on this blog

clothing

on the net there has been natterings about pagans and clothing. Witchyness is becoming popular to pop-culture... It started with pagans saying we must shape up or ship out clothing way...I am not talking about the wonderful woman elder who said we pagans need to get off our butts and take a walk each day.. Being overweight and ill I know she is very right in this matter...But that pagans need to grow up and dress like the church lady or in armani suits like tele-evangelists to be taken seriously but I do not blame these people the first time I heard this mantra was from a buddhist lay-person at the parliament of churches...I thought it was strange since my fathers family were tibetan buddhist and amongst them there several monks in the family. Their monks do not dress mainstream american culture.....What this statement is really saying literally to the pagan practitioner is that The reason you are being discriminated, you are losing your job, you children are harassed at school or being taken away by vindictive ex's is because of the clothes you wear to circle and festival. The vestments and robes your priestess and priest wear when representing you and your faith are hindering mainstream society from taking you seriously thus making it all right to discriminate against you because you are childish...It is a blame the victim shell game...Kind of like telling a rape victim she deserved it because she wore a mini-skirt and is thus a whore worthy attack..... Mainstream christians are not ever going to like pagans and they will desperately want to always marginalize us...I thought about this alot because I was Buddhist for a while and when I do not trust the person asking the I will cop to buddhism...Pagans are treated like atheists we are demonized and if you do not believe atheists and agnostics are demonized, read Twelve Step- recovery literature..WE are people who have repudiated monotheism and monotheists do not like it because they take God seriously, but not serious enough say to follow his rules like the Golden Rule. Pagans have concrete reasons and except for very enlightened elders and teachers, people that love to poke hole in monotheists overeaching dignity and dogma. Dogma that montheists take every seriously except when they need to downplay it to get money or new adherents. So we Can have our preistess wear Versace they will be called whores, but will be very slim.. or they can wear ren faire costume and a nice cloak and be bosomy and plumb, better when I think about my appearance I hope I look joyful and happy...and not cranky and sour like dana carvey's the church lady

or we can all just go skyclad, unfortuantely for me not in this lifetime with my body.

oh pretty star

I have been working this past week on getting and meditation and ritual room together and so I have been painting. I have been running around today and picking up odds and ends for the room... I will never cease to be amazed at the way the pentacle is being marketed in this part of the world... If you slap the words Lone Star on the packaging you can have the pentacle plastered all over an object. If a soldier dies defending the US... Heaven Forbid he get it on his tombstone. Last year we drove through Dallas and saw pentacles all over freeway overpasses, But heaven forbid Bush do the right thing and make the VA put a pentacle on heroes graves. Factoid seven: Spring is returning and planting will begin for the emotionally diabetic anti-factiod: No one in government wants the war too end it is just to profitable at the taxpayer and civilians expense.