today

I must say that I spent a good day surfin the net I have been lackluster in doing housekeeping. I must admit that my altar needs attention and so do my plants..this summer solstice was grand and wonderful for a whole 2 days I baked and cooked and brought to circle a good meal..I like when my interested in cooking and celebration of a holiday coincide...I took up the middle of the month the challenge of working on hone my practice of Wicca...Good thing come when I try to be diligent but even as an athlete I always needed down after intense activity..Daily one develops a idea of what is really going with ones self. I have left off bakhti and study to read and the book I choose was one recommended on a feminist site...It is called a Strange Piece of Paradise..in there is a quote "it has sometimes taken me ten years to understand even a little of some important event that happened to me. Oh I could have given a perfectly factual account of what happened but I didn't know what it meant until I the consequences" (katherine anne porter) I am at the beginning of the book and If I never finish it the book served a great purpose in my life by giving me that quote and by the author struggles in understanding a brutal assault that she was victim to.. I was assaulted brutally in youth but that is not what Is a defining moment to me in life the one that put me at odds with what my mother wanted me to be and that the family demand I believe...that had a more mundane and banal touchpoint...It was a moment in religion class at school on staturday...We were to investigate the altar and the instruments that were used in making communion wine and cutting the bread...I was excited because there talk on the news about altar girls in other religions and I maybe when I was older I could serve...But the church doesnot want women to serve the want them to submit...The boys went into the altar room and girl were told because they were unclean they could ..not..Maybe we really did not understand then we were to young to understand why we unclean just that we would bleed. I told the teacher boys bleed when hit in the nose and got patronized by the female teacher. This was bad women bleeding she strongly reiterated... Essentially that day the power structure was erected at the recesses the boys became more aggressive and violent in teasing and also more arrogant...It was easy to see boys that used play no longer could be bothered because they were better the teacher and church said so...Of course the word unclean wasnot understood until when at twelve puberty was ushered in....I can honestly say I truely hate my mother placing me in that situation and environment...I can truely say I hate the church destroying a part of that bold child and making her modest pure and shy... My mother I forgive because she was brainwashed but the church is an entity political and socially they I never have to forgive because>I am free as a Pagan no god coerces me to forgive a corrupt institution, that remains corrupt.. Of man made religion I do not believe any are the truth..Some saints and holy people might of been good and full of sanctity but served corrupt masters and I doubt they sit in paradise...When a religion cannot tell it followers that half its adherents are human being with unalienable rights like (THAT WOMEN ARE PEOPLE LIKE MEN) THAT THEY HAVE IN THERE LITERATURE RULES ON HOW TO BE A GOOD MASTER when you own slave the owning of humans as property as male servant or female family member is bullshit and taking 1900 years to figure it out is bullshit your prophets and church father were losers who need a gimmick to get in power They arenot great wonderful and enlightened beings because they ignorant and blind - Socrates had greater sanctity that christ and that bunch///If you think that the rights you have now were given to you by christ or allah or buddha you are a fool YOU ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED BUT A POLITICAL TOOL. of political entities that wish to turn back the clock to the place when they could physically own you.

blessed be from the Hinterlands.