unsettling disturbia

I SAW MY FIRST SHADOW PRESON A FEW WEEKS AGO. AFTER I HAD EMERGENCY SURGERY. i NEVER REALLY BELIEVED THEY existed and thought that people who saw them were panicked or hysterics. But I was calm and smoking a cigarette on my porch<> near death just made me want to smoke and eat more as though my addictions figured out that I was not immortal. but that happens every time I am facing death from various botched surgeries at the VA. Well the shadow startled me but I stood my ground as the being was across the street and when it left I Hightailed it up to my ritual room/ meditation room. then I felt bone chilling fear. But I figure they are a force of nature and if they ignored me then I will do the same with them.

in memorian

Well tragedy hit after circle this weekend when we returned home and our tuxedo cat Loki was dead in the road. My husband took it badly, very badly poor man. He buried him near our driveway because Loki loved stretch out and sun himself on it or on top of the van. I put a huge clay pot we have on top of it and I am going to plant forget- me- nots in it. Also stencil his name and the date of his crossing over. He was a good cat.

There is something that always causes the intellectual side of me to become infantilized when tragedy strikes especially when there has been months of hardship going on. I begin to wonder if I am cursed and I get stupidly superstious or I start to lose faith in my Goddess, or I wonder if I have offended the gods in anyway. When reason comes back I realise that this is Loki's karma playing out or maybe all the hardship and tragedy is bleep on a universal energy grid and instead of another family biting the bullet it is my little family doing so.

His picture is fuzzy because I could never catch him sitting still.

old reverberrations

in uganda a poor man had his house burned down because his neighbor's children accused him of being a witch. the neighbors were evangelicals and the man was a local herbalist...before going on and on about the evils of fundies and missionary work. I need to stop and say that I know the children are the cause of this. Just like the girls were guilty in Salem. But they were the first part of the crime. With the children it most probably started as an innocent lie. I was hanging around so and so Mr. Witches house because he impelled me to instead of I was curious. The poor man is in police custody but it sounds as though it is for protection than to prosecute for a crime I have seen many children drawn to good and bad simply because a parent believed with a stout heart and closed mind that it was bad for their child. Right now in the heartland at Waldenbooks there is no New Age or Metaphysical section, Barnes and Nobles is much smaller and not publishing pagan books, and borders section is smaller also. It seems as though christian literature and manga are pushing pagan themed and studies books out of these stores. It might be a small trend that will go away but if not I will have lost a good place to pick up a book without travelling to another town were the metaphysical store is.

tragedy in texas

In east texas a family died and the daughter is being blamed. It seems as though many news stories jump on the bad wagon of a quick suspect usually someone not liked in the small town. This famly was new to this town and not much is known of a previous life in another location and any enemies accured in another local...I am afraid that this will be a case of the locals not liking the teenage daughter and her group of friends...and the police happy with that quick resalution of the matter.

magical day

well I return to the net after illness for many months ending with emergency surgery with a surgeon performing it that looked old enough to be going to the High School prom this year. I did not ask her how many surgeries she had done before mine as she looked and acted so jazzed at the fact that I was so easily dealt with and out the hospital in 3 days. my poor husaband on the other hand is maniacally playing warcraft and working out to get rid of the tension of his fears.

It has four weeks since the surgery I am so happy to be back getting the house in order and planting potted plants inside. I do not want to sound crazy but I swear that a dusk a ball of light 4inches round showed up in my second story window where the new pots had been planted it pulsed with energy. I think that the plants were blessed by the fey and this year it will be an easier year for the plants, the house and our family, me, my husband and the menagerie.

that happened three days ago and today another magickal event I found 3 nickels on my altar wondering what being gave the gift. For I have just learned that saving pennies is more important than quarters because gnomes value copper more than silver....If this sounds like oxygen depredation during surgery it is not it is I believe an intro into the true world of magick and Why do I belive because I went to the mall with the 3 nickels in my pocket As I was going down the escalator in front of me teenagers where throwing coins into a fountain below us> I threw at the foutain and the nickel landed at the hand of a boy kneeling next to the fountain. It was a miracle for me because I had lost hope in these months and by keeping faith in my wicca and my buddhism I have granted a look into a magckal world I wish to be a part of .

the path I decide is unorthodox but I am happy to know that I choose this path and the netherworld is happy with it.