tempest in a mono-chramatic teacup

Is it simply that life is so boring that people of a religious bent must make up stupid little causes to be for or against...Muslims do not wish to touch pork, these are muslim cashiers in some place with alot recent emigrees from Somali..I have nothing against these people asking me to scan my own bacon or sausage and packing it into a shopping bag...Having worked retail I do not view the cashier as a personal servant and If she is not rude about I do not think I would have a problem with it..But that is simply me I was raised a mixed race and religion family so accommedating others little bents and quirks come naturally....As long as said muslim is not stupping for the outlawing of pork products doing this favor for them doesnot bother me...When dealing with cashiers and other kinds of service personnell I have other problems that worry me such as if I wear my pentacle out and about will I given bad service and find hair in my food.. Will, I when I wear a symbol of my religion, be exposed rudeness, nastiness and bad service...UNFORTUNATELY YEAH... I no longer wear a pentacle because being in a state of aroused indignation is a unpleasant attitude and is hard on the physical body and health...I have developed also a mini-phobia I do not trust people who wear crosses and I look at them askance when I met them because in my dealing with them is always the thought If they knew I was a pagan would they be smiling so much when they help me and sorry past experience has taught they will be quite serious, most probably sour faced and have a thin veneer of rudeness..But that is mono-charity for you... Thank Goddess that the flowers have come and beauty is enfolding us with spring.. Well merry part from the provinces...

SEVENTH AGE IS OVER,thank Goddess

I just got off the web site for the International Year of Polytheism (or the number of the beast is one) it is a rollicking site devoted to travelling and celebrating the multitudes of gods out and about with articles and events like the eating of a persimmons for Zeus complete with certificate of participation in the event... it brings a smile to my mean old heart and a wish to be young and quixotic. When I was young I as a young person even though I lived in Los Angeles there was no paganism around and Manson had scared all us children on the straight and narrow mono path...Used continually as a example, until reading Helter Skelter I did not realize that it was just a new hip and supposedly slick version of end times...Really until reading Simone and Germaine I did not realize that there was in politics anything besides commie-liberal and god fearing conservatives but once a child reads a book it is hard to get the weasel to behave and get back into the box. ANd as the people trying to always burn them it is rarely the sex that bothers them in the book it usually the ideas and the look into a world the parents hide and fear that trigger the bonfire....When exposed to liberalism with an open and humble attitude one invariable is changed for the better but it also takes a tragic humbling to turn a conservative into a peace loving liberal.... I must say that yes I love physical peace> I have no wish for war in the material realm. I believe the only weapons A person should use is a good vocabularly and a keyboard the only battle and war worth waging is with words....The pen is mightier than the sword, is correct because that one sentence has lived in human beings minds longer that any Generals speech except for War is Hell. I was a child considered stupid by most people including my family I was lucky to have english teachers in public school who doubted this. Yes that demon infested municipal service, was my salvation greater than_any jesus could ever be to anyone( stated to underline my damnation send no bright pamplets with chauvinistic statements masquerading as sincere concern...they only tell me how much better you believe you are because YOU recognize true sanctity and I am hoi-polloi that needs saving.) I truely Mourn the demise of the war on illiteracy and sinking into superstition of America by the concerted attack and soon death of public education. But some can say A pagan is the last person to talk of sinking into superstition and It is always a good moderate or liberal who brings this point up, raised usually in a monotheistically bent household..I never had a Hindu doctor or lawyer accuse me of this I have had nominal christians by the bushel fold suggest it....The gods in the end will out ... As the spartans in 300 discovered sometime you need to fail to win the war and the Gods do not necessarrily desert us...I remember a girl in 1985 California calling from her balcony to the Gods Shouting the Seventh Age is OVER the GODS HAVE RETURNED...Thank Goddess and Blessed be THEY are back right on time and not a minute to spare like a Great divine Cavalry saving the world from the excesses of the mono-mania...

In praise of oldness or tgio (thank goddess i am old)

this morning I have been listening to music as I surf the net. I discover a new rock band last year from Ark. Evanescance I love a song called Immortal...Evanescence is a band that captured well the angst attended with youth and continues in adulthood. I have to say I was a angsty youth very angry and military service does not beat it out of your system... Yeah it will teach you how to make your bed with nice square but to the angst ridden it only leaves you with a taste for revenge for the powers that be and to question authority....But you can save alot of money for college tuition if you do not get your butt shot off.. The service, I do not call it the corps it was like voluntary jail time that only a teenager would sign up for hoodwinked by conservative parents...It will make a man/woman out of them....Yeah and pigs fly you spend your adulthood recovering from it... The song immortal reminds me of that time. The song it gives me sloppy sentimental memories of first love and attended sorrow of a great unrequited love.... It is the ones that reject us that leave the biggest mark on the psyche and not the one you just fail to hook up with...I would not give anything to be young in fact I look forward to old age....I have an aversion to youth....I would rather spend my life in middle age....A time that even after screwing up badly, I am getting too old and tired and do not have the energy to worry like I did in my youth... we need a movie In Praise of Oldness we need a new word to call the period...Thank you it is over, is to long and has not enough punch to it describe the relief and contentment one has when they realize they have survived to be in their forties.....

, shrews and badgers,, Weight

I must say something in praise of the Goddess is that every time I screw up in life I am so grateful that I live in the present..Even though times are uncertain there are things I did not have to worry about that in other times would be the tragic or tragic in another part of the world... I have been angry at men in my last few political bogs but I am sure the male sex will recover from my shrewishness...A shrew is a small mean rodent like animal.. A better descriptive for me would be A large fat badger... I like badgers the first time I saw a badger was at Perris Island in Boot.. they are pretty animals with a stubborn, determined and mean desposition... I do not mind being associated with them...When I was a a child the worst thing in the world was to be called for little girls was to be mean it was worse than being called fatty on the elementary schoolyard...Fat was an adjective that would be soul-crushin in middle school and High School when you realize that fat girl do not get boys...Or maybe I do not remember fatty fatty because I was thin in as a young child...I am not bragging but I was a exceptionally beautiful child as a youngster... People would comment about it to my mother on public buses and doctor offices they would call me a china doll or a little beauty....Natural beauty is not kind to children, I hear from men beautiful as children it is not easy for them either...They have many studies talking about how much easier it is for good looking adults, but not so for attractive children. It engenders envy from children the attention adult give and it elicits the wrong attention from the wrong adults, the perverse dark kind...I am not an attractive adult excessive weight has hounded me since I started my development as a women. When I was atheletic and thin I was still mired in the self-hate that abuse of fat person by parent society and culture engenders... My mother did not handle it well when the china doll became obese.. I had a friend once see a picture of me as a child and she asked me why I threw it all away as a teenager in middle-school and got obese... People today look at fat children with contempt masking it as concern and sympathy but is really pity and validation of justification for why fat people need to be taken in hand and discriminated against....IT is for their own good(If I had a nickel for everytime that is used to marginilize people and commit discrimination I would be Bill Gates neighbor). All this meditation on weight started when I took a test on death clock and saw that I would die thity years earlier than my paternal grandmother because I was overweight... I am smaller than her or the be honest the same BMI as her. She lived through war and starvation as a young adult and as a mature women and she died in 1987 when medical care for the elderly was not good so I wonder.. AS a child I saw many obese old people survive to their seventies if the doctor was good and they got a little exercise and changed their diet...Many almost made it to eighty if daughters and daughters -in -law took them in hand but they remained high in weight....These are people who grew up on lard and many in their youth smoked unfiltered cigs. I believe that in the future the medical care for the elderly will be bad... medi-care will be band treatment and when we baby boomers die before our time, our families will be told that it was being fat that kills us...This increased emphasis on weight and weightism will continue as the elite continue to force a GAUNT UNNATURAL beauty on women.. A form of beauty very hard to maintain with any physical, emotional and psychological comfort,,Fueling speed addiction in drugs and suppliments...leading to emotionally unstable young and older gaunt women that despise and are horrified by plus size women because that is the only way one can maintain the focus to practise malnutrition as a lifestyle.. these gaunt women will be the first to cry that we must maintain the discrimination of the obese to better protect the obese persons health ( bit like promoting homophobia to protect gay people from AIDS) All the while practising malnutrition, overactivity(exercising) and cigarette smoking to maintain their gauntness...believe me I was 5'8" and 120 once I know the lifestyle. people are obese for many reasons but women are gaunt for one reason vanity.. out of this equation who really has the moral high ground

clothing

on the net there has been natterings about pagans and clothing. Witchyness is becoming popular to pop-culture... It started with pagans saying we must shape up or ship out clothing way...I am not talking about the wonderful woman elder who said we pagans need to get off our butts and take a walk each day.. Being overweight and ill I know she is very right in this matter...But that pagans need to grow up and dress like the church lady or in armani suits like tele-evangelists to be taken seriously but I do not blame these people the first time I heard this mantra was from a buddhist lay-person at the parliament of churches...I thought it was strange since my fathers family were tibetan buddhist and amongst them there several monks in the family. Their monks do not dress mainstream american culture.....What this statement is really saying literally to the pagan practitioner is that The reason you are being discriminated, you are losing your job, you children are harassed at school or being taken away by vindictive ex's is because of the clothes you wear to circle and festival. The vestments and robes your priestess and priest wear when representing you and your faith are hindering mainstream society from taking you seriously thus making it all right to discriminate against you because you are childish...It is a blame the victim shell game...Kind of like telling a rape victim she deserved it because she wore a mini-skirt and is thus a whore worthy attack..... Mainstream christians are not ever going to like pagans and they will desperately want to always marginalize us...I thought about this alot because I was Buddhist for a while and when I do not trust the person asking the I will cop to buddhism...Pagans are treated like atheists we are demonized and if you do not believe atheists and agnostics are demonized, read Twelve Step- recovery literature..WE are people who have repudiated monotheism and monotheists do not like it because they take God seriously, but not serious enough say to follow his rules like the Golden Rule. Pagans have concrete reasons and except for very enlightened elders and teachers, people that love to poke hole in monotheists overeaching dignity and dogma. Dogma that montheists take every seriously except when they need to downplay it to get money or new adherents. So we Can have our preistess wear Versace they will be called whores, but will be very slim.. or they can wear ren faire costume and a nice cloak and be bosomy and plumb, better when I think about my appearance I hope I look joyful and happy...and not cranky and sour like dana carvey's the church lady

or we can all just go skyclad, unfortuantely for me not in this lifetime with my body.

kity bit

I am going to write like a sentimental fool about my little cat Sumo.. she is a dear I have spent the day surfing the web and bloging about political matter and I need to contemplate something pleasant. It is not that too much evil is in the world I have a great love for history and social history is my favorite. People like to think of the past nostalgically these are people who rarely crack open a history book written by reputable historian or social theorist...The trouble with the good old times is they weren't, if they had been your ancestors would have stayed in Europe or Asia...Black people understand this and are grateful to be in the modern world....Conservatives hate any time that they cannot dictate to the populace what they must think, do or believe...And Hippies just miss the 60's and being a young adult...I am ashamed of my generation we ruin the environment, dismantled to unions and destroyed to public school system... All because we did a few drugs, had wild sex and then decide to be born again or went into recovery that usually has the end result of being being born again, with that educational level and cognitive ability of the new born. I am not saying that babies are stupid they just are not imbibed with alot of street smarts which what adults need to survive and protect their children..Innocence is highly overated and many children are made victims beacuse of naivetivity....Yet all religions scream that we must be like children, why? so we are easier to steal from, to control, to give you the power that you and your orginaztions crave..I have decided that any religious holy person that has said or written reams religious prose about innocence being so a virtueous must be forced to talk and listen to a molested child tell them about how great it is because we live in a world exhorts us to more innocent without protecting the innocent amongst us. well there I go my black cat has left the room she is not a politcal creature and prefers when I meditate or do quizzes on the net to be able to cuddled in my lap.. she has been replaced by my mini Schnauzer who enjoys my ranting much more. merry part

Wicca Wicca witch

I just read an article about a protest in gathering about the Pentacle on gravestone for veterans as a disabled Vet I have decided to donate my body to science to give back to the universe practical use and good from my worn out husk...But the main reason is I live in a part of the country were even if They allow a pentale at my gravestone in VA cemetary I doubt my wishes will be honored and I do not want my husbands last memories of be of me be revolving around legal wrangling and Government High-jinks the VA Admin can not be trusted and lie bald face to veterans, family and ultimately to the law.... Their concern about the veteran is gauged by which party is in power and how liberal or conservative president and appointees are...If liberal dealing with them is not extremely hard or exhausting and sometimes they are helpful without even being asked... If the conservatives are in power and the director is overly religious help medical or any other is hard and being a Minority religion sets one up for abuse.... No I do not want my last days remembered as my husband needing to spend them arguing with whatever martinet is in charge of the VA Cemetary about what gets chiseled on my gravesstone...I would rather he remember me as sarcastic bitch with a rapier wit who would only back down if he asks me to, but would really fight for social justice. no matter what. My fight is mine and if my husband was the Vet I would fight to the death for his pentacle but for him I know my death would be hard enough for him to deal with.... Well anyway in the article they talk to an executive that works at Llewellyn she is described as doing wiccan rites but not a wiccan... I am certain that this is a misguote, but if not, is not doing wicca rites yet not being a wiccan or pagan or not Identifying or qualifying at least a pagan or goddess-worshipper a bit like a person going to catholic mass and having communion but telling people no I am not a Catholic... To such I have kind i have developed a bitchy attitude it is like, "shit or get off the pot" to be blunt....We do not need outsiders to view us as Diletantes and Dabblers in the occult that will not get us taken seriously or reverse discrimination. I would rather see an devout ascerbic goth or ren faire Maid gushing about the beauty a Wicca and the evils of discrimination than have my religion charcterized as the dabblings of yuppie new agers... Believe me there is a Conservative writer who charcaterizes us as this all ready a religion made up by the spoiled youth of the Elite. Instead of one of substance practicised by the devout chrsitian poor in america and believe me that kind of thinking sells amongst the yahoo's in the bible belt...Shabby social theory to explain and justify paranoia works amongst people in uneducated states like the bIble belt..... So I would rather have a Lady Moonbeam and Meadow as an example than some hip, slick and cool person with well scrub demeanor of a christian pop singer any day. I grew up in the heyday of the hippie to me pagans were hippies and Jewish intellectual feminists I loved them both and I see nothing wrong in being counter-culture, conformity is the death of spirituality. merry part

Salvation, responsibility, spiritual pride and dignity

I want to talk about religion I am not a christian because I really do not care if Christ forgives me or not he is one person or God. What I want to know is that at the end of my life if I am found guilty that Mother Goddess will love me and visit me when I am serving time... I hope She will love and not cry for my blood and an eternity in Hell or worse a dissolution of my soul I want my Goddess to be a Peace pilgrim, a anti-death penalty but I also want Her to hold me responsible for my action I want rehabilitation and not blind forgiveness. I see too many people who view Christ as a co-dependent and passive-agressive God..Yes he will forgive you but do not get on his bad side... I grew up in a dysfunctional home and believe me there was not much fun just alot of gallows humour... I had crazy parents and inconsistency as a child I do not want to cleave myself to a God that emotionally unstable, judgemental and flies off the handle left and right...My parents did that to me and I am going the ask for a Karmic divorce the first chance get after I have paid my dues to humanity and the Goddess feels am ready to be a responsible adult child the keyword is adult... Neither as an adult do I need to have everybody believe everything I believe in about the divine or the world I just do not wish to swallow your beliefs forcibly and have various religious manuals thumped into my consciousness, I like to have diverse reading material.. I have no need to be saved.... I must learn to get out of my messes myself saving me will only enable my soul to continue misbehaving I need motherly unconditional love and guidance that Mother Goddess can give me. When a God saves you and needs to forgive it means that you did something that has ruined relationship with that God and he no longer trusts you to be responsible.. Sorry that means you have to jump hoops for that God's love and that I told you so is always hovering in the background... I know Mother Goddess loves me and will always be there with the right advice and care ... because despite my mothers lunacy when the shit hit the fan she was always there to try in her dysfunctional way to help and though I never want to live another life as my parents child I wouldn't mind if my mother was my homes....

The joy of Womin's Work

This weekend has been a beautiful one full with the replanting of new house plants that are now permanent guests at my house now... there is nothing more relaxing than gardening and planting it is more fun that harvesting...Another thing is doing deep house cleaning it is hard work but like long distance running one gets into the zone the longer and more intense one cleans... 90% of all violent crime is prepetrated by males... I wonder if men took to housework, cooking and decorating the way women do maybe they would be less violent... Maybe simple work of women needs to be glorified by our culture instead being enforcers to the mob and then maybe peace and diplomacy will become an option instead of bullets and bombs.... merry part

movie madness

Friday we rented three movies one was a dramedy, another a sci-fi fantasy set in 1800's and the last a horror movie... all were passable and not a waste of money or film... The dramedy had Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffmann and I like it greatly it was worth watching and buying in the future I like sentimental movies I am just a simple slub and sentiment plays well with me... And the cast was great the leads were personable and great in their roles and a supporting cast with high wattage in ability....Will Ferrell and Maggie Gyllenhaal made a believable couple without the plastic or overly beautiful looks that actors now days need as a prerequisite to work, they look like someone you would meet at a bus stop... I have seen Maggie Gyllenhaal in three movies at least and in each she has presonified another personality type and is able to fill out diverse characters shoes in her understated way she is a young Meryl Streep or Helen Mirren honing her craft instead of playing the glamour game of hollywood. The second film was The Prestige a dark and bitter look at obssession and great in Hugh Jackman descent into madness.... But unfortunately there was no one in this movie to cheer for literally...It underscores the victorian view of men and the importance of women in their personal universes they(women) are used with an offhanded regard someone to love but not important in the scheme of things....I can not say that among the men their was any to root for or to like and treatment of the women smacked of emotional sadism it was uncomfortable, in the end, movie experience.(DAVID BOWIE was great, rock and roll's gain was motion pictures lost.) The third movie The Return was a woman's horror movie little gore, alot of emotion and star-crossed love I enjoyed it, my husband found it lacking in action and gore and so slow, I thought that the end redeeemed the movie... ////The actors were not really very TExas maybe they could have fit in Austin.,, And the scary farmhouse bedroom was too shabby chic for good ole' boy.

cleaning and planting and enjoying mundacity

For the last two weeks I have been obsessed about cleaning, I must admit that I spent to many years cleaning strangers houses for a living to ever be a Anal retentive when it comes to my own house...Cleaning ten households a week has a tendency to break one of fussiness when relaxing at home and it makes one loathe to hire outside because you really do not believe the world needs a poor housecleaner driven mad by the demands of a ex-pro... Having live the life of dirt and detergent I know I can never afford to pay a Housecleaner what she/he deserves for a the bullshit they put up with from clients and agencies. But it is good to be well enough and physically strong enough to sling furniture, paint and cleanser around... There is one thing I love to do is to organize it is the death of me and ends up with 24 hour cleaning sessions when I am physically capable... My husband will invariably wake-up in the middle of the night and ask why am I still cleaning, but once you start it is hard to stop it is the starting that is the pickle.... When it comes to houscleaning I have a rusty alternator and it takes some coaxing to get into the mood... I think I if a started a new career I would be an organizer or in a alternate universe I would be an effiency expert but not the stopwatch kind but the ergonomic kind simplifying things for the good health of the worker not to squeeze out as much work out said exhausted worker. But my new contemplation room is beautiful Saturday I moved all my plants upstairs and into the kitchen... Since my Lewellyn datebook told saturday was auspicious a day for planting my husband bought me a late Loveday present of indoor plants I was beside myself... Unfortunately He regretted the generoisity when the garbage disposal shorted out and he spent sunday re-wiring in the kitchen.... My only defense was I always potted in the kitchen and this never had happened before...And pretending to sleep as blue language floated up to the second story bedroom...But it is worth it when I see all the new additions to the family they are truely a beautiful group of flora and Lowes plants are much better, prettier, hardier and cheaper that home depot and they have a better selection....that'ss alllls FFFFFolk from the hinterlands of america