May Day

Walpurgis night has past. Satan and his minions the hamsters were nowhere in sight not a nibble on my feet. I enjoyed the walpurgis nacht and the celebrations that went with it. I like the pagan religion because it is a joyful one and respectful of others no one preaches hate or anger at the ritual and festivals. it about the celebration of life and not one of telling the practioner how not to screw up. which is good because probably alot of Neo-pagan are what society would look down at and call screw-ups. If we are hateful and angry it is on our blogs and that is something that if a person does not want to see or read they can move ON . Well nothing much to talk about still recovering MERRY PART AND BLESSED BE.

abuse, forgiveness and rebellion

There are really two ways that a person may react to abuse, especially someone recovering from it one that has occurred in childhood they may Identify with the abuser so much that all they want to hear are the empty platitudes that bureaucrats give to get out trouble and pacify the natives or they may reach the point were they decide to fight no matter what refuse to let go of their protective fighting spirit. In our world unfortunately mankind has been raised by society when it comes to authority and its misbehaviour to be forgiveness addicts. There are things that cannot be forgiven because the sociopath that did the misdeed will never comprehend the act and the forgivee is never able to rest because they will never be at peace that it will not happen again. People that are rogues work in silence and unless they are important to the powers that be they receive no protection. To be shuttled around and around to the target group that the victimizer enjoys hurting means that the authority is equally sociopathic in its desire to keep face. Kinda like the way the Japanese are trying to hide in some schools the fact that they bombed Pearl Harbour.

back to normal

Well I am back to normal the drugs wore off and no fairies or shadow people hiding under the bed. the cold weather and my husbands surgery snapped me back into reality. The protesters trying to put out the Olympic flame gave me a great deal of pleasure and I hope that the Buddhist world-wide realize that westerners do care for them. Catching Jim Carrey speaking about Burma was great to he look incredibly nervous but sincere and brave. I read a book The Gift of inner Peace I bought in a bin at Barnes and Noble it was comforting and got back to my Buddhist half. I view my faith as shaped by Buddhism, yoga and Wicca. But Wiccan I stay as long as it is an oppressed minority. I guess in this life that is my path to walk a line between east and west as my genetic code is. mp bb

magical day

well I return to the net after illness for many months ending with emergency surgery with a surgeon performing it that looked old enough to be going to the High School prom this year. I did not ask her how many surgeries she had done before mine as she looked and acted so jazzed at the fact that I was so easily dealt with and out the hospital in 3 days. my poor husaband on the other hand is maniacally playing warcraft and working out to get rid of the tension of his fears.

It has four weeks since the surgery I am so happy to be back getting the house in order and planting potted plants inside. I do not want to sound crazy but I swear that a dusk a ball of light 4inches round showed up in my second story window where the new pots had been planted it pulsed with energy. I think that the plants were blessed by the fey and this year it will be an easier year for the plants, the house and our family, me, my husband and the menagerie.

that happened three days ago and today another magickal event I found 3 nickels on my altar wondering what being gave the gift. For I have just learned that saving pennies is more important than quarters because gnomes value copper more than silver....If this sounds like oxygen depredation during surgery it is not it is I believe an intro into the true world of magick and Why do I belive because I went to the mall with the 3 nickels in my pocket As I was going down the escalator in front of me teenagers where throwing coins into a fountain below us> I threw at the foutain and the nickel landed at the hand of a boy kneeling next to the fountain. It was a miracle for me because I had lost hope in these months and by keeping faith in my wicca and my buddhism I have granted a look into a magckal world I wish to be a part of .

the path I decide is unorthodox but I am happy to know that I choose this path and the netherworld is happy with it.

MANTRA MADNESS

Sometimes in one life one must try to change the course of energy flowing around one..One can spend one's life fighting the current and living the spiritual and emotional life of a salmon going up river, exciting but emotionally draining.. or go with the flow..In the past weeks as I as was volunteering I met personable people that seemed nice a friendly and people that you would like to hang with..But for some reason that veneer of hearty friendliness disappears when you tell them you are a Buddhist forget about telling them you are pagan..I have used the Buddhist dodge to get out of church invitations..But this time I used the unitarian clause and that did not help It seems many people do not view them a christians. Of course I got pinned down until I said jesus could be savior and lord and I was let go of the verbal headlock that I was in..obviously they missed the word could..But since you are a opinionated sow why did you not just rip their theology apart Sonia???one reason only these people were related to business associates and that left one open to a try at forced indoctrination..But Sonia is that not a overeaction to the event, no when a person doesnot wish to talk about religion and you force it on them it is a try at indoctrination and also to hear themselves talk about god and go on and on kissing divine butt. I do not convert people because I believe everyone needs to learn at their rate. The pagan path is so unpopular to the mainstream monotheists that I really do not find converting people to paganism a kind act especially to young people...To become Wicca or pagani means to lose one place in the real world and to be open to nastiness by ignorant Monotheists and from were I am sitting there are a lot of them skulking in the bushes with the other boogeymen of society. But more enlightened people say that there are enlightened christians, I wonder how enlightened they would be if they were around a Pagani in a crisis of faith would the gloves be on or off. but I have decided having look through my portable book of shadows and finding a Mantra in sankrit that I will be concertrating on to tap into the vibration of universal friendship. I figure it will either change me or the tenor of the people around me... of course if it changed me I would have to give up bitching about christians and other monotheistic patriarchal religions and become part of the silent majority that allows them to behave inconscionably. the mantra is OM MITRAYA NAMAHA.

Ah Harry we thought we knew you well

Well Harry the supposed rebel the Pied Piper leading scores of children to Hell is now known to be Christian..Why so because a quote on a headstone and a Mother's sacrifice? Suddenly Harry is so christian because his mother sacrfices her life for him..Harry is Christian, sorry kids, no help in subverting the world order from him..There are other aspects of the story that have a christian flavor..But this self-congratulatory belief that only chirstians can and want to sacrifice for love shows the superior attitude they have when judging themselves before others...There are many a story amongst many religious folk of sacrfice love, undying loyalty these are not strictly christian traits that they have a monopoly on. My Husband once explaining to a Korean couple his beliefs system and what is expect of him in his daily relationship with people..Needed to keep reiterating that he is pagan Odinist as the couple kept telling him He was christian in his beliefs. I guess what my complaint is that there is a great deal of self-congratulatory pats on the back when christians explain their philosophy and belief system to others, and among their naive a great deal of credulousness when they learn yes pagan gave gifts..Yes yellow people believe in heaven and can be moral..My personal observation from childhood is that my Buddhist family member had a greater degree of personal humility than my christian relations. About ancient Pagan Philosophy and religion not much is known and there is a reason for this as in 5th, 6th and 7th century a concerted effort was made to destroy competing religious and Philosophical thought with the state religion. Another reason If you burn the works of all the writers you plagiarized then You take over the idea lock, stock and barrel. Ovid was not the only Pagan writer to complain about the plagiarizing of popular pagan work by Early Christian writers it seems to be a common complaint of writers of the era. All we have left is some pagan philosophers works maybe only been saved because an Abbot like the work. with the coming of state religion came the loss of secular education and with it scientific inquiry. Many works were lost most of the male philosophers work and all of the female philosophers work were lost and yes there were female philosophers all that is left of them is Sappho and I doubt the if she was not a poetic genuis with the big plus of appealing to men's girl on girl action fantasies she would have gone the way of the ancient female writers consign to some long distant bonfire. I sometimes get an Buddhist Idea that I should stop bashing the followers of jesus and then they write something or say something so unconsciously arrogant, but look at you with hurt eyes when you call them on it ...Because the assumption that they are superior simply because they have the joy of knowing christ so ingrained and it is found in their liberals that so-called natural superiority that their religion is the light. I am of the belief that liberal christians are the minority..Oh maybe not on the left coast but everywhere else they are. I am a great believer in learning from the past and taking people on their word..The last devout christian I talked to would not leave me alone until I said I believe that christ could be Lord and saviour luckily they did not hear could and this in a work setting..I hear there is supposedly a liberal bunch of them I personally have never met any of them that would personally take down one of their own verbally when they are harrasing a person politely.. The last one who did in front of me was me, I was protecting a jew and a buddhist but then I am no longer a liberal christian because they are not the people running the religion and I sadly do not believe that christ existed I believe he is a dream within a dream within an illusion so mercurial that no one will ever know his reality. merrie part from the hinterlands...

ode to uncertainty

I grew up in the christian faith and I learned growing up that the worst thing I could have was doubt( the explantion was that it usually had a satanic origin). I was taught that the greatest gift was faith and the best faith to have was absolutist faith..Since I was a very skeptical child I had to hear ad nauseum stories of faith, proverbs about faith, pray innumerous prayers for faith.. None of this worked because I could never understand Why none of the miracles of the past can be recreated today by devoted saint-like persons and also why people who talk to jesus nowdays are placed in mental health facilities and sedated..Treatment that as a child I grew to believe would have help ancient humankind a great deal if it was used on various prophets because many of them seemed to need a good dose of thorazine, especially when they went on and on about women. I am in my forties, now I truely believe that the greatest gift that the universe can give a person is doubt..Doubt is at the beginning of every scientific quest and every philosophical endeavour, without it we would still be in the dark ages thinking fish were created by water. I pray that in every life I have in the future I have doubt and Disillusion for instead of being negative in life they are the whips that spur one to learn and discover..It has always been doubt that caused me to go the library and learn if something is true..I do not nowdays trust anyone who tells me not to doubt to have faith in things, my body, mind and spirit say are not so. I especially do not and will never trust anyone who says to me "Let me have faith for you" what they are saying is "I will do your thinking for you, Liebchen"..I think that phrase is the spookiest I ever heard from a Monotheist. It makes me still shudder and recoil mentally. When I was small I was a devout girl, one is always a true believer before evolving into a skeptic, but modern religion has a huckster quality around it, that I found at odds with The Ideals of spirituality. As a young person I came to believe that the maintream religion had 1600 plus year to change the world and it seemed they still needed to convert every body instead of changing the behauviour of their parishioners which was scandalous most of the time. After going to college and studying socio-paradigms I came to the socialist view that religion is a construct to control the masses and allow the powerful to stay in power..ONe only needs to look at the pope who is more concerned with destroying the power of disobediant catholic politicians than having poor catholics vote for politicians that have their best interests at heart, a bit like muslims voting the way the iman wants them to. It is easy to see why people hate religion, It is really rarely Jesus that people hate. It is the political and social entities that sprang up around him that people are uncomfortable with..I had a friend who is christian ask me why people of my ilk do not trust christian institutions and the overly religious with power..I believe that the christian takeover of rome and the dark ages has alot to do with it..As well as the continued propganda tactics christian institutions and their apologists use..Dissembling, disinformation and distortion of facts that would make a communist propagandist mute from awe and envy. But to get back to doubt, certainty is the hobgoblin of creativity and doubt that is treated like a bastard child by faith is truely a virtue..I never heard any one say that their doubt is the greatest doubt on earth and turn around and kill scores of people to prove it true I have seen people of faith do that in stories of the past and in the present..So I view doubt as a blessing may more people be blessed with it.. merrie part from the hinterlands, blessed be.

A strange Pieces of belief

WEll I finished reading the book A strange Piece of Paradise and I want to buy it and re-read it for the deep insights of the writer..Having been a victim of criminal acts prepetrated on me as a child and an adult I could see and Identify with her quest..I just disagree with the need to believe that evil is born in some people and the need to see it as supernatural force in the criminals life..Most criminals are raised in mainstream religion..A good percentage in devout families their problem are not from not enough good religion but too much religion stagnating their younger lives causing rebellion..I believe if a person is born evil that they are not responsible for their actions..people choose to be a perpetrator 70% of the people sentenced to the state penn on a assortment of crimes never go back after they are released from prison..These people after being punished choose not to prey on people again, they learned their lesson..THe prison population has a great deal of religious people in those cells and all of them blame satan for their problems except that miraculous 70% that accept responsibility and learn from their mistakes...

There are people from good families that lack empathy and hurt things, animals and people because even good people can teach children that others do not matter whether it is the maid or the unsaved or those sluts that want to date my boys..A psychologically well family does not often produce a sociopath but alot of good families are not psychologically well..Just because the family, the parent are personable does not mean that their raising of a child is right..I now alot of personable people who make their daughter sign abstinence pledges and yet are secretly proud and relieved when their teenage son gets laid...These are not Psychologically well people. They are morally ambigious if a child of theirs understands that, these people a have raised a child that has internalized the belief of entitlement of one child and the other is simply less than..No matter how much praying the family and child does they are in a precarious ethical development of the childs belief system.

I think that every one can be saved that someday we will have treatment for violent people as we treat schizophrenia and depression..But first we must stop the worship violence and using it as gratuitous entertainment..Maybe instead of eight people being murdered in a movie, Maybe the death of one could be used as a catalyst for an expose on the morality and causes of violent behavior and stop saying THe devil made him do it..

Merrie part from the provinces.

the picture is a reminder that soon winter will come and all will be cool.

the hell w/it

My partner is channel surfing as I blog and for a moment he touched on a channel with a show describing the SAtanist magic dabbling of some heavy metallist..Even as a teenager I could never really keep a straight face at the witnessing of the formerly demonic, that might be the reason I strayed from the 12-step fold, I always want to ask loudly,, What were you taking??..and how high were you?? I do not believe that one can be possesed by the Devil by reading Aleister Crowley...There are strick rules that supernatural entity has to follow, Possesion may only occur by the formal permission of said possesee.. Most people being exorcised need to really exercize their Goddess given freewill tell their nut-case religious-freakoziod family members to back off and get themselves to a psych ward.. THe popular and romantic myth of the possessed going for psychiatric help for years maybe decades and are then cured by the rite of exorcisism is bogus, bullshit...More often the family, nuttier than a fruitcake, cannot admit or allow themselves to comprehend the person under the supposed demon's spell is really Mentally ill, because it would explode all the family myths and delusions of normalcy...The only thing SAtanic in America is the way we treat the mentally ill..And that churches as an institution collude with giving people that need anti-psychotics bogus religious relief and conveniently sell ridiculous stories that could have been proved true...if only satan had not made the camcorder not work. Believe me If satan was real he would probably be egomaniacal enough to want himself on camera and on primetime..not Joe-blow the Schizophrenic being psycologically abused by clergy and family..DEvils and Demon have little power on this realm...whereas people do have the power to say yea or nay..

A tale of two blogs

I have two blogs why I do not know..I had a vague reason that one I would vent my worst of times and in the other I would strive to work to uplift my spiritual side and be in denial and achieve spiritually numb state of my emotional, intellectual and reptile brain equivalent to being comfortably numb state in the Pink Floyd song. I have always thought that the buddhist state of equanimity was this comfortably numb state the way to nirvana was numbing relief of non engagement brought about by meditation induced endorphins..Something that narcotics and depressents give you after the euphoria and before the crush and the crash, the I do not give a Fuckedness feeling and attitude.. right now I am listening to the song as a teenager I believed that not feeling was the key that you had attain to achieve a state of divinity..It is one reason why charismatic religions scared me as a youth..And yet I now belong to a circle that loves drumming and ecstatic dancing.. and I like it because unlike the emotion brought on by the witnessing the guilt, the horror, the relief at redemption as a teenager I once felt it..Ecstatic dancing allows me to feel that moment before, feeling evolved, before thought, before consciousnes arises...The way we listened to Pink floyd while stoned there was a beauty as though the next deeper brain wave pattern would bring us face to face with God. In many ways Long distance running can bring that on the feeling. In fact I had almost ruined my right knee because I could not give up the need for speed it was not speed it was the feeling after the euphoria the fifteenth mile and the slide into the I do not give a Fuckedness... The recovery movement and the anti-drug czar keep dwelling on the horror of drug use(there are many) but are extremely reluctant to look at the fact that getting high is a experience that sometimes border on the most holy and high and all that from the skanky drug dealer on the corner. It is why we send addicts to pseudo-recovery programs that are simply revival meeting couched in psycho-babble hoping to repeat the connection to the divine achieved in the drug high. With the drug addicts and penitnent service may-be if they pray enough and meditate enough they will achieve addict equanimity the state of I Do NOt give a Fuckedness. May-be that is why they do not allow recovery addicts to have an opinion..To feel any outrage at social injustice..We all need to be smiling little emotionally repressed and guilted clones waiting for Hale Bop and the mothership. As a teenager and young adult when angry at parents and/or husband I would park on Pacific Highway above the SAnta Monica beach, and watch the tanker come in deliviering crude oil to the refineries further south, watch the container ships leave with american goods we manufactured things then in the USA, sometime a tramp steamer old and proud sail by of to the south seas may-be with the 70's version Jean Harlow hitching a ride. Ships and being numb sometimes were life's only proof that God exists and loves us. By trying to force spiritual experiences on people addicted to drugs physically and emotionally we do them a disservice and then always end up blaming the addict for their lack of recovery. When there really NEEDS TO BE to true concrete medical physical and psychological treatment for them..And maybe discover a physical activity that can help create a comfortably numb feeling.. Oh but that would take concerted indivividual treatment when it so cheaper and expedient to send the addict to a free 12-step meeting. merrie part from the hinterlands

Attitude of gratitude

Well I think that I must find a few moments of gratitude..I thank the Goddess for my excursion in living in the bible belt with out it I would not have become a fearless pagan..I am thankful for my experience in the Marine corps without it I would not be a black-belt feminist(it broke me of the very feminine habit of being impressed by males)since that period of life I do not trust any orginization run by men..Especially an org. that says it has my welfare at heart. There is a reason why so many slang names for ineptitude orginate in the military amongst men they are masters at it. Which means that most thinking men are less impress with themselves and their achievements as a sex, than they would like natives(women and children) to know.

I love reading bigoted people trying to stick to the illusion of normal thought when pushing their chauvinism on others..Like ON Faith essay's on the need for pagan chaplains since, sorry fundies, there is a legitimate need for them..I am not one to tattle but I am a chauvinist when it comes to religion I prefer mine and with me it is My Goddesss mine, mine, mine. I cannot for the life of me want to contemplate any other way of worship..I also have an aversion to monotheistic religions may-hap in reaction to not being given a choice in what to believe as a youngster or may-be I read to many books on the forming of church philosophy and the influence of manicheasism and dualism on early church writing and thought..or may-be it was the relief after years of struggling with religion and athiesm and 12-step christianity being shoved down ones throat. I said I believe this and it does not include the Bible or Koran or a male god and garden of eden is bullshit..eve was framed...I realised I do not need to say I am sorry all the time because I am not part of the female cabal that caused to fall of man. They were uncoordinated enough to stumble on their own..

The old saying in vino veritas well in pagano veritas or whatever declination is valid. Life is hard but it can be enjoyed no one is going to zap you because you like ice cream or orgasms or what ever other small carnal pleasure that religion is hell bent on making everyone feel guilty about because guilt is a bigger money maker thay sex..There are whole holidays made from and drenched in guilt, mothers day and easter are two.

Well of being a Pagan lack of guilt about bodily functions and state of human grace or evil are a win, win. In a world that flaunt excess carnality and sexuality while demonizing it at the same time.

Familiarity and contempt

I had thought I was a liberal until I was told that liberal are tolerant and I am a cranky old opionated sow.. I am not a tolerant person after being 12 steperized and buddhafied and even told to grow up and forgive Christ by a supposed secular threrapist I still like to hold on to my little hate and angers... I was not raised to be tolerant and for decades I believed that the quest to be nice was my Holy Grail in life..My maternal influences in life were slightly less right wing than the Nazi-party which is shocking since my mother married and had children (including Myself with an asian man). I was lucky as a child I noticed the discrepancy between personal behavior and religious and political belief..Unfortunatley my other siblings are still in the dark about this. I am lucky that today I am still intolerant but I have learned to be discerning in my pet hatreds..I try not to hold anger and intolerance to minorites under fire by the status quo and the majority...I learned if you attack then do so of abusers of power and not the weak.. There are many people of a spiritual bent that believe that one must blog nice and to rant and rave and sarcastically carrying on is polluting the feelgood bubble that surrounds the earth..Sorry if my mother"s beliefs such as in the validity of the holocaust and the tri-lateral commision and the Rothchilds were not ridiculed I would still believe in the Scions of Zion elders, russian crap..I grew up watching buddhists as half of the family tree were praticising buddhists. Sorry their counrties are rife with woman hatred and oppression of the lower classes..Being nice works only when you want to get someone off your back...Being nasty is sometimes the only way to get through to an hypocrite.. marrie part from the hinterlands.

wiccan timeline

I just vented on the church taking 1900 years to discover women were people and owning people is not nice unless it is in a sweatshop full the deserving poor. Of course people are going to say Pagans Sacrificed Humans babies and Goddess Know assorted fauna and flora. That pagans owned slaves and kissed satan on the butt on the full moon..When it comes to brown-nosing monomaniacal religious people cannot point the finger.. YES, People in the past Did bad things and Sacrificed humans of assorted ages and faun and flora..evilbible.com will give biblical rules and regs on the killing for god of the mono's...Plus is not a soldier dying in a holy war a sacrfice to god. It does not matter at the end of the day neo-paganism is a new religion and Thank Goddess and a rationale religion that views women as individual human being not chattel, which rhymes cattle and is the same thing property. Despite people waxing poetic about the ancient religions they were not fullproof and enlightened about women and slavery...In using the Old Gods a templates and extrapolating the best that the classical world had to offer.... there is a chance to move forward and modernize Sprirtuality Make religion a force for enlghtenment and civil rights and human rights... Now all mono's that worked to better the world let us say that the way the monomaniacal religions are acting nowdays and the cowardice of liberals in these religions. What ever good they did was when their religions back was broken.. They accomplished good despite being montheistically inclined or to buy souls on the open market of charity.. Blessed be from the Hinterlands

peace

well I was on pagan news site and one of the writers was castigating the pagans for not en masse writing the pastor of a burned out baptist church to offer condolences as a Group of adolescent Satanists burnt it down and he (the pastor) needed to drag the pagans good name into brouhaha..Basically the peacefull person implying that our indignation at being falsely accused of a crime is one of the reasons we are to blame for our own discrimination- is this peaceful person a outed pagan or a brain-dead buddhist. It does not work this way especially in the Bible Belt...But again we pagans are walking along in life and blamed for a horror...or a demented teenager calling themselves a Wiccan goes of the deep end and kills someone or ruins porperty suddenly joe-blow pagan in Poughkeepsie must buy a condolence card and send it. Whyfore??? Too repair our reputation..When local Catholic kid down the block goes dinghy or protestant kid it is never implied that the religion is to blame and if it was the screaming of the church of libel would be so loud it would drown out all condolences of the perps family. If an idiot pastor and he is an idiot needs to show the world his ignorance so be it...If pagans want to bitch about the idiots ignorance so be it...But do not confuse brown nosing with being superior in enlightenment and peacefull vibes...

philosphy and Pagans

Well again another movement is afoot to legitimize the Pagan or Wicca religion. We must forthwith develop a body of wisdom to charm the world into taking us seriously..I have read alot of christian philosophy as a child and young Adult and I believe it was the arguement over Hallelujiah and Allelulia that got me to throw up me hands up in disgust and start checking out eastern Philosophy..My opinion after years of reading Philosophy of the religious bent is that it is Bullshit and Mental masturbation for people of these religions and various sects. All this literature in so-called philosophy allows christian countries to practice paternalistic toletarianism with laws that favor those who read the philosophy while explaining away the vicious mysogny and abuse of children and disenfranchised male..Keep the Idealistic ones reading church philosophy that way their attention will not be on human rights..It is the same in buddhist countries read this High-faulutin' stuff and ignore slavery around you and the rampant mysogny. The pagan religion is popular because it lacks a body of work because this lack allows one to live with their formation of a spiritual path if pagan wanted a body of philosophy they would of remained in mainstream religion and continued to mentally jack off to sacred literature.