ode to uncertainty

I grew up in the christian faith and I learned growing up that the worst thing I could have was doubt( the explantion was that it usually had a satanic origin). I was taught that the greatest gift was faith and the best faith to have was absolutist faith..Since I was a very skeptical child I had to hear ad nauseum stories of faith, proverbs about faith, pray innumerous prayers for faith.. None of this worked because I could never understand Why none of the miracles of the past can be recreated today by devoted saint-like persons and also why people who talk to jesus nowdays are placed in mental health facilities and sedated..Treatment that as a child I grew to believe would have help ancient humankind a great deal if it was used on various prophets because many of them seemed to need a good dose of thorazine, especially when they went on and on about women. I am in my forties, now I truely believe that the greatest gift that the universe can give a person is doubt..Doubt is at the beginning of every scientific quest and every philosophical endeavour, without it we would still be in the dark ages thinking fish were created by water. I pray that in every life I have in the future I have doubt and Disillusion for instead of being negative in life they are the whips that spur one to learn and discover..It has always been doubt that caused me to go the library and learn if something is true..I do not nowdays trust anyone who tells me not to doubt to have faith in things, my body, mind and spirit say are not so. I especially do not and will never trust anyone who says to me "Let me have faith for you" what they are saying is "I will do your thinking for you, Liebchen"..I think that phrase is the spookiest I ever heard from a Monotheist. It makes me still shudder and recoil mentally. When I was small I was a devout girl, one is always a true believer before evolving into a skeptic, but modern religion has a huckster quality around it, that I found at odds with The Ideals of spirituality. As a young person I came to believe that the maintream religion had 1600 plus year to change the world and it seemed they still needed to convert every body instead of changing the behauviour of their parishioners which was scandalous most of the time. After going to college and studying socio-paradigms I came to the socialist view that religion is a construct to control the masses and allow the powerful to stay in power..ONe only needs to look at the pope who is more concerned with destroying the power of disobediant catholic politicians than having poor catholics vote for politicians that have their best interests at heart, a bit like muslims voting the way the iman wants them to. It is easy to see why people hate religion, It is really rarely Jesus that people hate. It is the political and social entities that sprang up around him that people are uncomfortable with..I had a friend who is christian ask me why people of my ilk do not trust christian institutions and the overly religious with power..I believe that the christian takeover of rome and the dark ages has alot to do with it..As well as the continued propganda tactics christian institutions and their apologists use..Dissembling, disinformation and distortion of facts that would make a communist propagandist mute from awe and envy. But to get back to doubt, certainty is the hobgoblin of creativity and doubt that is treated like a bastard child by faith is truely a virtue..I never heard any one say that their doubt is the greatest doubt on earth and turn around and kill scores of people to prove it true I have seen people of faith do that in stories of the past and in the present..So I view doubt as a blessing may more people be blessed with it.. merrie part from the hinterlands, blessed be.

A strange Pieces of belief

WEll I finished reading the book A strange Piece of Paradise and I want to buy it and re-read it for the deep insights of the writer..Having been a victim of criminal acts prepetrated on me as a child and an adult I could see and Identify with her quest..I just disagree with the need to believe that evil is born in some people and the need to see it as supernatural force in the criminals life..Most criminals are raised in mainstream religion..A good percentage in devout families their problem are not from not enough good religion but too much religion stagnating their younger lives causing rebellion..I believe if a person is born evil that they are not responsible for their actions..people choose to be a perpetrator 70% of the people sentenced to the state penn on a assortment of crimes never go back after they are released from prison..These people after being punished choose not to prey on people again, they learned their lesson..THe prison population has a great deal of religious people in those cells and all of them blame satan for their problems except that miraculous 70% that accept responsibility and learn from their mistakes...

There are people from good families that lack empathy and hurt things, animals and people because even good people can teach children that others do not matter whether it is the maid or the unsaved or those sluts that want to date my boys..A psychologically well family does not often produce a sociopath but alot of good families are not psychologically well..Just because the family, the parent are personable does not mean that their raising of a child is right..I now alot of personable people who make their daughter sign abstinence pledges and yet are secretly proud and relieved when their teenage son gets laid...These are not Psychologically well people. They are morally ambigious if a child of theirs understands that, these people a have raised a child that has internalized the belief of entitlement of one child and the other is simply less than..No matter how much praying the family and child does they are in a precarious ethical development of the childs belief system.

I think that every one can be saved that someday we will have treatment for violent people as we treat schizophrenia and depression..But first we must stop the worship violence and using it as gratuitous entertainment..Maybe instead of eight people being murdered in a movie, Maybe the death of one could be used as a catalyst for an expose on the morality and causes of violent behavior and stop saying THe devil made him do it..

Merrie part from the provinces.

the picture is a reminder that soon winter will come and all will be cool.

Attitude of gratitude

Well I think that I must find a few moments of gratitude..I thank the Goddess for my excursion in living in the bible belt with out it I would not have become a fearless pagan..I am thankful for my experience in the Marine corps without it I would not be a black-belt feminist(it broke me of the very feminine habit of being impressed by males)since that period of life I do not trust any orginization run by men..Especially an org. that says it has my welfare at heart. There is a reason why so many slang names for ineptitude orginate in the military amongst men they are masters at it. Which means that most thinking men are less impress with themselves and their achievements as a sex, than they would like natives(women and children) to know.

I love reading bigoted people trying to stick to the illusion of normal thought when pushing their chauvinism on others..Like ON Faith essay's on the need for pagan chaplains since, sorry fundies, there is a legitimate need for them..I am not one to tattle but I am a chauvinist when it comes to religion I prefer mine and with me it is My Goddesss mine, mine, mine. I cannot for the life of me want to contemplate any other way of worship..I also have an aversion to monotheistic religions may-hap in reaction to not being given a choice in what to believe as a youngster or may-be I read to many books on the forming of church philosophy and the influence of manicheasism and dualism on early church writing and thought..or may-be it was the relief after years of struggling with religion and athiesm and 12-step christianity being shoved down ones throat. I said I believe this and it does not include the Bible or Koran or a male god and garden of eden is bullshit..eve was framed...I realised I do not need to say I am sorry all the time because I am not part of the female cabal that caused to fall of man. They were uncoordinated enough to stumble on their own..

The old saying in vino veritas well in pagano veritas or whatever declination is valid. Life is hard but it can be enjoyed no one is going to zap you because you like ice cream or orgasms or what ever other small carnal pleasure that religion is hell bent on making everyone feel guilty about because guilt is a bigger money maker thay sex..There are whole holidays made from and drenched in guilt, mothers day and easter are two.

Well of being a Pagan lack of guilt about bodily functions and state of human grace or evil are a win, win. In a world that flaunt excess carnality and sexuality while demonizing it at the same time.

wiccan timeline

I just vented on the church taking 1900 years to discover women were people and owning people is not nice unless it is in a sweatshop full the deserving poor. Of course people are going to say Pagans Sacrificed Humans babies and Goddess Know assorted fauna and flora. That pagans owned slaves and kissed satan on the butt on the full moon..When it comes to brown-nosing monomaniacal religious people cannot point the finger.. YES, People in the past Did bad things and Sacrificed humans of assorted ages and faun and flora..evilbible.com will give biblical rules and regs on the killing for god of the mono's...Plus is not a soldier dying in a holy war a sacrfice to god. It does not matter at the end of the day neo-paganism is a new religion and Thank Goddess and a rationale religion that views women as individual human being not chattel, which rhymes cattle and is the same thing property. Despite people waxing poetic about the ancient religions they were not fullproof and enlightened about women and slavery...In using the Old Gods a templates and extrapolating the best that the classical world had to offer.... there is a chance to move forward and modernize Sprirtuality Make religion a force for enlghtenment and civil rights and human rights... Now all mono's that worked to better the world let us say that the way the monomaniacal religions are acting nowdays and the cowardice of liberals in these religions. What ever good they did was when their religions back was broken.. They accomplished good despite being montheistically inclined or to buy souls on the open market of charity.. Blessed be from the Hinterlands

such a liitle thing

Today I went awanderin I went walking at the lake to do my daily walk. The Sky was overcast and for the hour and 20 minutes it promised to rain> I love a stormy sky and it is one of the reasons I love the plains...If texas could accomadatingly flood and kansas be scrunched into a mountain range it would be more perfect here than in california...But the plains are the steppes of AMerica and to me it calls to some ancient nomadic genes...Both sides of my family where steppe dwellers the european and the asian sides...I hate the Heat of summer but I love winter and I love it especially if spring and summer are wet. What is great about the lake is that with the democrats in control of the city...they have adopted a policy of allowing large swathes of the land in the park to return to native species of foliage...with this has come a return of many bird species and so the park is alive...With the abundance of rabbit this season, the wild cats are leaving the birds alone...For three years the plains have been in drought and now the lake is full...When the rains started to come and the lake filled up people began arriving to fish at night after work young men and couples were showing up...The geese are back and it is most beautiful, I am most thankful to the storm gods for their generosity. I was walking and I felt A great deal of happiness and as I walked and got my exercise...Out of the bottom of my brain came the thought thank Goddess I am fat....At that moment I had a appreciation for being a Fatty...Why would I have such a heretical thought??? What blasphemy is this???Why even young feminists would rather be oppressed than fat...Being fat proves I do not have the discipline to be truely radical and strong...Sorry I am obese and I cannot run the perequisite 10 miles a day that ran as young woman but I can bench-press 100 pounds and high-row 95 pounds and amaze the trainers at our gym when my husband runs me through my weight lifting routine...The equation of fat and weak by the slenderati is a funny one. When it comes to weight lifting I have never lifted at such high weight when thin. I might not be fast but I am not weak...I am very lucky that in my life I have lived fat, thin and fragile. I have been ill in thiness and in obesity....I am not brain dead I do wish to weigh less but I am no longer tormented by that wish...The tyranny of slenderness is gone and no I am not what society says is a normal weight(a living coat hanger for clothes size with hugemongous boobs)...Nor am I the healthy weight bigot size normal( you can weight as much as your grandmother did at 20, forgetting that the depression and wwII food scarcity had a great deal todo with the svelte figure) Which means you screwed unless you look like marilyn Monroe or Scarlett Johansson...The thing is that being slender is a terrible thing if you are like 98 percent of society and do not heave coal for a living and come from famine prone countries or your ancestors did. Fat is only bad now because it is a feature prominent to poor people...If tomorrow every fat person could genetically remove from themselves and their descendants the fat genes in them...Rich people and the middle class would be mainlining cool whip...Fatty porn would be enshrined in playboy and CAmeron Manheim and Kristy Alley would be fashion Icons.... The slenderati really do not have fat people interest at heart and Having been slenderati it is simply spite and jealousy that informs their action and beliefs...To say fat people donot care about their health is ludicrous I know many that refuse to smoke or quit smoking for reasons of health. I do not see amongst the slender such health motivation as many smoke to make not eating palatable...But the most Ironic is that the more of a pain in the ass you are to the fat ones the greater is the occurance of you becoming a Fatty as you age...Oh low is level and the pride of the formerly slender and now fat...But If one can put aside the self loathing and disgust in oneself that western society demands from fatsos... there are perks... Men do not hit on you continuely especially when they see the ring on your finger...(what ever made men think putting a ring on a finger of a woman would magically make her out of bounds and they think Harry Potter people are gullible)... no nasty remark and cat-calls walking down the street...No one wants to Fuck with a angry fat woman and Buffalo Bill withstanding serial killers are afraid of fat women...That is why they do not kill their obnoxious female relatives...So there is a joy to being fat and if you exercise diligently and wisely alot of physical ailments of fatness are negated.... Will the charming sexist bastards want to date you??? no!!! even if they are in to fatties image is all to them, but who cares that is another plus and a major one it prevents heartache and divorce and being taken to the cleaners Fat people of the world unite....No longer allow the Elitist Slenderati to control your happiness and self- love....And enjoy your meal...

philosphy and Pagans

Well again another movement is afoot to legitimize the Pagan or Wicca religion. We must forthwith develop a body of wisdom to charm the world into taking us seriously..I have read alot of christian philosophy as a child and young Adult and I believe it was the arguement over Hallelujiah and Allelulia that got me to throw up me hands up in disgust and start checking out eastern Philosophy..My opinion after years of reading Philosophy of the religious bent is that it is Bullshit and Mental masturbation for people of these religions and various sects. All this literature in so-called philosophy allows christian countries to practice paternalistic toletarianism with laws that favor those who read the philosophy while explaining away the vicious mysogny and abuse of children and disenfranchised male..Keep the Idealistic ones reading church philosophy that way their attention will not be on human rights..It is the same in buddhist countries read this High-faulutin' stuff and ignore slavery around you and the rampant mysogny. The pagan religion is popular because it lacks a body of work because this lack allows one to live with their formation of a spiritual path if pagan wanted a body of philosophy they would of remained in mainstream religion and continued to mentally jack off to sacred literature.